Russians Capture North Pole; Christmas and Oil Reserves at Risk

Canadians planned counter-offensive but dozed off
Inebriated Press
August 2, 2007
Russian military/explorers dove below the North Pole in two nuclear powered submarines and planted a national flag on the seabed claiming the North Pole and all of its energy and Christmas assets as their own.  Weathering an attack by reindeer and Santa’s Elves the Russians shrugged off [...]

Google to Purchase the United Nations

Will fund world domination with advertising
Inebriated Press
August 2, 2007
Google announced today that it’s making a bid for the United Nations and plans to eliminate all member-nations funding requirements.  “We will fund all UN-Google activity with advertising in respective government publications - paper, plastic or website,” said Google founder Sergey Brin.  “We control the world’s information; [...]