Strippers Petition to Paw Patrons

Politicians back hands-on approach
Inebriated Press
August 8, 2007
The Cincinnati Enquirer reports that strip club dancers are out in mass seeking signatures on a petition to stop an Ohio law that prohibits dancers from touching patrons.  Without a change the law is slated to take effect on September 4th and both Republican and Democrat lawmakers are ‘all [...]

Disappointed in the U.S., China Ponders Nuclear Option

U.S. retaliates by offering help
Inebriated Press
August 8, 2007
Responding to U.S. complaints that the Chinese are exporting tainted food and sickening people around the world, China has begun a campaign of threats against the United States. China says it may liquidate its holdings of U.S. Treasury Bills and crush the U.S. economy or it may simply [...]