Use of Pain Medication in U.S. Doubles

Citizens deal with the government by upping drug use
Inebriated Press
August 22, 2007
Retail sales of five leading painkillers doubled over the last eight years, reflecting a surge in use by American’s who find the U.S. government a big pain in the ass.  Oxycodone use jumped nearly six-fold between 1997 and 2005. The drug gained notoriety as [...]

Virus Linked to Obesity Epidemic

Burger and fries a carrier?
Inebriated Press
August 22, 2007
U.S. Scientists reporting to the 234th American Chemical Society convention said that common viral infections are responsible for the obesity epidemic sweeping through the United States and other countries.  Ronald McDonald said “see I told you it wasn’t us”.  The Burger King mascot said nothing but his smile [...]