First Lady has Pinched Nerve, Causes Lunar Eclipse

Brings out astronomers and goddess worshipers
Inebriated Press
August 29, 2007
First Lady Laura Bush suffered from a pinched nerve in her neck and shoulder area on Tuesday and the earth cast its shadow across the moon.  Her physicians advised her not to travel and 89 percent of the worlds astronomers converted to astrologers when the earth and [...]

Taliban Crabby as US Destroys Their Heroin Lab

Says Allah will level disease on American infidels for harming drug business
Inebriated Press
August 29, 2007
Taliban gunmen clashed with U.S. and Afghan troops in southern Afghanistan this week after coalition forces destroyed a heroin laboratory they were guarding.  Mullah Mohammed Omar the current Taliban chief and lead jihad drug dealer said that the U.S. made a big [...]