Deaf people want deaf babies; each to his own?
Inebriated Press
December 31, 2007
The UK’s Times Online reported last week that the chief executive of the Royal National Institute for Deaf and Hard of Hearing People said deaf parents should be allowed to screen their embryos so they can pick a deaf child over one that has all [...]
Entries from December 2007
December 31, 2007
Designer Babies for Everyone
December 31, 2007
New Paris Hilton Sex Tape for Athletes
Tape holds jock and cup parts in place
Inebriated Press /Tabloid Division
December 31, 2007
Paris Hilton has teamed up with Nike and 3M to introduce a new adhesive tape that helps male athletes hold their jock straps and protective cups in place comfortably and without chaffing. Called “Paris Hilton Tacky Sex Tape” it is grippy yet can [...]
December 29, 2007
WAC: Make Big Money in Pay Check Advance Business
Weekend Ad Copy (WAC) by: Ronco Media Easy Money Division
Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
December 29, 2007
Sick of borrowing money to live on or working for a paycheck? Tired of paying everybody else but not yourself? Well turnabout is fair-play and now it’s good for fair-pay!
Make big money in the pay check advance business!
That’s right; now [...]
December 28, 2007
Hillary Clinton Hires Pamela Anderson
Signs up breast consultant for election run
Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
December 28, 2007
As Hillary Clinton’s popularity in Iowa faded in the polls political consultants dug deep and discovered a way back: cleavage. A quick survey of the electorate found that many voters are positively influenced by cleavage and Hillary Clinton hasn’t been flashing much of [...]
December 28, 2007
Martian Evacuation Planned as Asteroid Closes In
Debate rages over resettlement plan for earth’s moon
Inebriated Press
December 28, 2007
U.S. astronomers say there is a chance an asteroid could hit the planet Mars by the end of next month. Wary Martians are planning to bail out and intend to settle on earth’s moon. But some lactose intolerant citizens don’t like the idea.
“There has got [...]
December 27, 2007
Woman inhales small child
Arrested for kidnapping
Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
December 27, 2007
A senior citizen in Palm Beach, Florida accidentally inhaled an 11 month old girl yesterday outside a drug store. After telling police that she could not dislodge the youngster from her left sinus, officers arrested the elderly woman and charged her with kidnapping. Agnes Morland is currently [...]
December 27, 2007
Babes, Bombs and B Movies
Finding the innate genius of college guys
Inebriated Press / Tabloid Division
December 27, 2007
A recent study of male college students has determined that eighty percent of their mental capacity is currently dominated by thoughts of women, explosions and bad movies. Scientists at the University of Delaware’s Institute of Washable Cotton say that young college guys are [...]
December 26, 2007
9-11, Good, Evil & Revisionist History: A Christmas Story
Can politics and bureaucracy keep you safe and free?
Or might it take steel eyed realists willing to do hard things when necessary?
Inebriated Press / Division of Rant (with no pretzels)
December 26, 2007
It’s the Christmas Season, Circa 2007. And freedom, democracy and individual rights are still synonymous with the United States of America. Do we appreciate the [...]
December 26, 2007
Plutonium Grows on Trees in Fiji
Island nation gets the bomb
Iran fears attack by berserk bongo players with nukes
Inebriated Press / Tabloid Division
December 26, 2007
Robert Gates, U.S. Secretary of Defense acknowledged today that the Republic of Fiji has developed a nuclear bomb. Experts at the U.S. Department of Agriculture said that tests show plutonium is being produced by a type of [...]
December 25, 2007
God comes to earth; Islamofascists lose bet
Christmas story turns out accurate
Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
December 25, 2007
Stunned Islamofascists were disappointed to learn that Jesus the Christ was God come to earth a couple of thousand years ago, and that He’ll come again in Glory on the Last Day. Religious experts say that’s how it came down and will come down, but [...]
December 24, 2007
TIME Mag’s Person of Year Lashes out at U.S.
Says only American journalists understand him
Inebriated Press / Division of Rant (with Pretzels)
December 24, 2007
Russian President Vladimir Putin accused the United States last week of trying to undermine Russia’s plan for global dominance and said Washington was trying to harm Moscow’s attempts to build friendships with Islamofascists. Named TIME Magazine’s Person of The Year last [...]
