January 18, 2008

Dr. Kevorkian Pushes New “Medical Service”

Says his goal is to ease suffering, not cause death
Inebriated Press
January 18, 2008
Dr. Jack Kevorkian promoted legalizing euthanasia before a University of Florida crowd of nearly 5,000 last Tuesday, condemning governmental interference in physicians performing the “medical service” of killing patients.  Kevorkian said his aim was never to cause death; his goal was to end [...]

January 18, 2008

Beyoncé to Manage Animal Feed Store

Likes bovines and poultry, tires of music and acting
Inebriated Press / Tabloid Division
January 18, 2008
R&B singer and actress Beyoncé Knowles announced today that she’s retiring from show business and has accepted a management position at Acme County Feed and Seed in south Georgia.  Inebriated reporter Heathcliff Somhowe broke the news from an all night Hillary [...]

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