Google to Own Extension Cord between U.S. and Asia
Brits to Require Sex-Ed for 5-year Olds
Inebriated Press
February 29, 2008
Information Week reports that a consortium that includes Google is planning a new trans-Pacific submarine cable to carry data to and from Asia. On Tuesday, Google said it would join with five other telecom companies — Bharti Airtel, [...]
Entries from February 2008
February 29, 2008
The Control of Sex and Data
February 29, 2008
Islamofascists Discover Inner Peace; Blow it Up
“Serenity has no place in our lives”
Inebriated Press / Tabloid Division
February 29, 2008
Iranian President and deep thinker Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, speaking at an all night bingo game and death match in Tehran, said Islamofascist philosophers contemplating relaxation while accidentally drunk, stumbled upon inner peace and dozed off. Upon awakening a couple of them wrote down their [...]
February 28, 2008
Neverland Ranch and Democrat Fantasy
Michael Jackson’s Neverland to be Auctioned;
Like the Democrat Debates, It was Never about Reality
Inebriated Press
February 28, 2008
The New York Times reported yesterday that Michael Jackson’s Neverland ranch has been foreclosed on and is up for auction. And like the recent debates between Democrat presidential candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, it was never about reality, [...]
February 28, 2008
Breast Popularity to Fade
Only babies and medical professionals to retain interest
Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
February 28, 2008
Doctor Phibes, a noted student of women and their appendages recently declared at an all night bachelor party, that men’s interest in breasts is fading away. Speaking scientifically from a podium at the Hapless Cowboy Lounge last Saturday evening, Phibes said that [...]
February 27, 2008
Pre-Olympic Window Dressing and Illusions of Harmony
China chats rights, North Korea listens to music
Inebriated Press
February 27, 2008
China declared Tuesday it is willing to resume a long-stalled human rights dialogue with the United States, seeking to improve its image before this summer’s Olympic Games in Beijing. And an audience of North Korea’s communist elite gave the New York Philharmonic a standing ovation [...]
February 27, 2008
Baseball, Hookers and Horses
Hecho’s Life and Times
Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
February 27, 2008
Hecho N. Mexico, a made man of substance and intellectual curiosity recently saved his ass in a bar fight having learned to tell the difference between it and a baseball bat. Bystanders in the bar, Nightshade Booze, Baseball and Hookers, said Hecho used to take frequent [...]
February 26, 2008
Can You Afford to Know Your DNA Code
Another don’t ask, don’t tell policy?
Inebriated Press
February 26, 2008
The New York Times reported Sunday that a new DNA test that can tell you if you’re going to come down with a specific disease in the future, is generating fear among potential users. Once thought to be a boon to users who could plan medical treatments [...]
February 26, 2008
Rat Bastard Spotted Near Bermuda
Mythical creature lives on island; relatives frequent corporations
Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
February 26, 2008
The often referred to “Rat Bastard” is alive and well and living on one of the Bermuda islands. Often confused with assholes and businessmen and women who lie and cheat innocent working people, the real Rat Bastard is a small fury creature [...]
February 25, 2008
Election Pride: black beats white, left beats right
Michelle Obama beaming bright
Inebriated Press \ Division of Rant (with pretzels)
February 25, 2008
On two separate occasions last week Michelle Obama, wife of presidential candidate Barack Obama, said that for the first time in her adult life, she was proud of America. Citing her husbands success in beating back Hillary Clinton’s campaign for president, Michelle waxed [...]
February 25, 2008
New Reality TV: Senators with Lice
Fox program will help fund U.S. deficit
The new Itchy and Scratchy Senate Show
Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
February 25, 2008
The Fox Entertainment Group has announced a new addition to this years fall television line up. Expanding on the popularity and robust profit margins of so called “Reality Television” programming, Fox has formed a financial partnership with [...]
February 23, 2008
WAC: Make Big Money in Arms Trafficking!
Weekend Ad Copy (WAC) by: Ronco Media AK-47 Promo Dept.
Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
February 23, 2008
Tired of not having enough cash at the end of the month to pay your bills? Sick of watching the news from the Middle East and across town because it doesn’t benefit you? Want to get in on the action [...]
