June 22, 2007
US envoy Christopher Hill says North Korea is ready to “disable” its Yongbyon nuclear reactor with few demands.
Returning from a surprise visit to Pyongyang during which Mr Hill leapt from a large cake at a party for North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il, Hill said he was optimistic that the six-party agreement was as sound as Jong-il’s mind and was better looking too.
“We only promised Jong-il $800 billion in cash plus a lifetime supply of gummy worms,” said a smiling Hill. “We were able to negotiate him out of his earlier demand for $800 billion in cash plus a green tube top and 5 pairs of Levi’s. I am confident that this will result in the complete denuclearization of North Korea.”
In 2006 North Korea held its first nuclear test and has proven its ability to crash missiles into the sea. The growing crisis led North Korea to expel UN nuclear inspectors and ultimately brought about the tough negotiations.
Jong-il was unavailable to comment on the agreement at press time, since reruns of Mr. Ed were running and his tape machine was broken.
For decades North Korea has been one of the world’s most secretive societies and Jong-il has been considered a nut case outside his country. Inside North Korea his countrymen consider him a great hero and wonderful patron who only starves them part of the time and then usually only on specific holidays.
© 2007 Inebriated Press