Unhappy Arabs Burn Gas Stations to Protest Lack of Gas

Normally calm Iranians turn crabby

Inebriated Press
June 27, 2007

Iran abruptly enforced fuel rationing on Wednesday sparking normally calm and collected Arabs to destroy gas stations throughout Tehran.  Some merely grumbled and got in line to buy gas from stations not ablaze. 

Iran is the second-biggest exporter in OPEC and many Iranians were puzzled by the lack of fuel in their own country.  This encouraged the logical decision to light things on fire.  “It seemed the thing to do,” said bystander Ahmad Al-O’Brien. 

Reacting with usual grace President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said that folks should just calm down and go back to planning Jihad against Israel and the West.  “Let’s use this moment to promote the development of nuclear reactors necessary for energy and stay focused on our peaceful plans for world domination,” said Ahmadinejad.  “These protests merely take away from our daily efforts to maintain the peaceful uprisings in Iraq and may interrupt the funding of freedom oriented terrorism in Lebanon.”

Long considered one of the more diplomatic and loving leaders in the Middle East Ahmadinejad has sought more modernization through nuclear technology while maintaining traditional industries like human trafficking.  According to the CIA’s World Factbook, Iran is a source, transit, and destination country for women and girls trafficked for the purposes of sexual exploitation and involuntary servitude.

Said Ahmadinejad “Whats a little fuel rationing when the outlook for Iranian power is so bright?”

Said garbage hauler Ali-LuAnn, “Can I borrow a match?”

© 2007 Inebriated Press

 

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