Cardboard Pork Makes Food Industry Inroads

China’s new delicacy catching on

Inebriated Press
July 12, 2007

The Associated Press reported today that chopped cardboard, softened with an industrial chemical and made tasty with pork flavoring is the main ingredient in batches of steamed buns sold in Beijing.

The pork buns called baozi in China and worthless in the rest of the world, are traditionally fluffy white buns filled with minced pork. The new innovation substitutes the pork for chemically treated cardboard. A blend of hog fat is added for flavor. This combination reduces production costs without trading away taste.

Wolfgang Puck recently tasted the new delicacy and declared it “amazing.”

Celebrity chef and Smithfield Pork spokeswoman Paula Deen said the new product is both innovative and efficient. “By blending low cost hog fat with cardboard, the pork goes much farther in a recipe. This is an efficient way to use pork but it will require more industrial waste than I typically add as a tenderizer.”

Recently the Chinese have been criticized for their lack of food safety controls and the new chemo-pork-bun is expected to polish their image. “We occasionally kill people and pets with our bad food,” said Chiz Nix, China’s minister of strange unnatural food. “These chemo treated buns are our way of showing good faith and giving back to those people who have criticized our way of doing things. By exporting these to the U.S. and other countries, we will show that we care about taste and safety.”

The U.S. Food Safety Agency which currently doesn’t exist did not issue a comment.

© 2007 Inebriated Press

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