Britain Expels Russians for Basic Hate-killing

Russia says radioactive polonium-210 is common in salads and Brit’s are over reacting

Inebriated Press
July 16, 2007

Britain ordered the expulsion of four Russian diplomats today over the Kremlin’s refusal to extradite a key suspect in the death of a former KGB spy who turned Kremlin critic.  Russian President Vladimir Putin said that Britain was over reacting and that radioactive polonium-210 is a common ingredient in salads fed to anti-Kremlin Russians in Moscow.

British prosecutors named Russian businessman and former KGB agent Andrei Lugovoi as the chief suspect in the murder of Alexander Litvinenko.  Litvinenko became sick and died after eating a meal with Lugovoi.  After dismissing initial ideas that his illness was due to Lugovoi’s bad table manners, official tests discovered deadly radioactive polonium-210 in Litvinenko’s tableware and throughout his blood and tissue.

Russia has refused to extradite Lugovoi, saying its constitution prevents extradition due to the risk of being found guilty and being made to feel bad about it.
Putin said that London’s position was immoral.  “They should understand how provocative these actions are.  If they keep this up we might have to feed their diplomats some of our salad.”

The French Foreign Office offered to mediate between the countries.  “We feel that it’s important to differentiate between political killings and ones conducted merely out of hate,” said French Foreign Minister Bernard Kouchner.  “The Brit’s are at fault here in attempting to politicize a murder that’s obviously a simple hate killing.  The Brit’s need to cut the Russian’s some slack.”

© 2007 Inebriated Press

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