Think men are pigs now, just wait

Genetically modified pig parts for humans ahead 

Inebriated Press
July 23, 2007 

Experiments using pigs genetically engineered for compatibility with the human immune system means that cross-species transplantation may soon become an option for patients with diabetes and other currently incurable diseases.  While the effort is designed to improve human health and save lives some women fear men will become real ass holes. 

Dr. David Cooper of the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center said that there are clear benefits to be gleaned from successful “coagulation dysregulation”.  He says that genetically engineered pigs can produce organs for transplants.  But Kim Gandy president of the National Organization for Women says that pig headed men will get worse and increase in number. 

“Men are already predisposed genetically to be real jerks,” said NOW’s Gandy.  “If we paste men together with additional pig parts women will be shooting these guys wholesale.”

Dr. Cooper downplayed the potential genetic side effects.  “We anticipate some problems of course,” he said.  “But we think they can be minimized with medication.” 

Gandy doesn’t think it’s that simple.  “Dr. Cooper is a guy,” she said.  “Guys exist in a constant state of non-reality.” 

Dr. Cooper said he believes Gandy “doesn’t know shit” but still appreciates her input.  “She’s a guy-hating nonscientist who’s sore that she has to wax her lip and I don’t.  But that doesn’t make her input totally ridiculous; just laughable.  There could be a few side effects.” 

© 2007 Inebriated Press

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