Apple Sued Over iPhone Battery

Innovative design includes welding battery to case

Inebriated Press
July 31, 2007

Jose Tujo is seeking a class action lawsuit against Apple for iPhone innovation deficiency pain.  He alleges that by welding the iPhone battery into the case so a user can’t change it Apple dropped the ball on innovation and owes him money.  Industry analysts’ say that welding the battery to the case and charging the customers each time they need to change it is very innovative and Tujo is a dolt.

“My name is Jose,” said Tujo.  “And I want the millions that I have coming to me.  I’ve been duped because I thought it was innovative to change my own batteries.  I’ve been swindled and misled.  They say it’s innovative to block my battery changing lifestyle.  They are malicious and unprincipled bastards.  My name is Jose.”

Executives at Apple said that everything Tujo needs to know is in the booklet that came with the iPhone and he could have easily discovered the secret to the battery and then returned the iPhone in anger rather than waiting until it quit working.  “He’s his own worst enemy,” said Steve Jobs a hard working American innovator who doesn’t make mistakes.  “The guy should have studied the manual the day he bought the iPhone like everyone else in America does.”

Bill Gates, former chief at Microsoft and a rival of Apple for many years said that the iPhone innovation was a brilliant way to sell battery services.  “Apple’s been attempting to copy my approach of locking up markets and controlling consumers for years.  Welding a battery into a devise and charging the user to change it is pure genius.  Almost makes me wish I was back hosing folks with MS updates like I used to.  Kind of gets my blood going.”

©  2007 Inebriated Press

Comments Off on Apple Sued Over iPhone Battery

Filed under Humor, IP News

Comments are closed.