Church sues government for damages
August 10, 2007
Canadian church leaders who believe it’s their religious right to smoke marijuana have launched a lawsuit against federal officials. “We don’t have to be completely stoned to believe what we do,” said the mostly Reverend Eddie ‘Blow-Joy’ Condiment, head of the International Church of Universal Two (iCU2). “But it helps, and we don’t want the government interfering.”
The lawsuit alleges that the federal government is breaching the Charter of Rights and Freedoms because they’ve stopped iCU2 members from using marijuana. The suit seeks $9,000 in damages because without the influence of weed fully conscious worshipers ‘tore up a chapel’ after they were able to actually understand a religious pamphlet produced by the church.
“We advocate belief in a higher power and the number two (2) and other than steady donations and the religious purchase of our marijuana, we don’t ask anything more of our members,” said Condiment. “We especially don’t advocate anyone read what I write unless the reader is faithfully wacked up on MJ. It’s the only way to truly grasp the totality of our faith.”
Critics say iCU2 is a cult designed only to trade in marijuana. They say that the pamphlet that started the riot advocated worship of the number 2 and declared that the highest power in the universe is a dwarf living in British Columbia named Bob.
“The Canadian government is pretty easy going,” said Alice Amiable, Member of Parliament representing British Columbia. “But a religion requiring use of weed so members can believe in Bob is a bit much. I kind of like Betty myself.”
The Canadian government doesn’t support any specific religion and has been willing to let citizens believe what they want as long as they keep paying their taxes and supporting ice hockey
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