Suspect in Slice & Dice Murder Freed

Man goes to pieces; his own fault say police

Inebriated Press
August 13, 2007

Police in Malaysia have freed Alexi Bail, a woman suspected of chopping up her husband and storing him in a refrigerator.  Prosecutors say that despite the fact that her husband was in fact chopped to bits and stuffed in multiple packages in the women’s appliance, there was no evidence indicating that he was murdered.  They fined her for ‘odor violation’ and let it at that.  O.J. Simpson says it makes sense to him.

The remains of 39-year-old businessman Noo Bail were discovered in black bags in a posh apartment refrigerator by cleaning woman, Mable Bright.  “I was going to make a sandwich from stuff in the fridge but there were argyle socks between the meat,” said Bright.  “That got me thinking something wasn’t right about it and I called Tyson Foods.  They said I should call authorities ’cause at Tyson they strain out body parts.”

“We looked into the situation and there was no evidence of a crime,” said Yusof Dethrow, police chief and Alexi Bail’s reputed secret lover.  “If anyone had complained or if Alexi would have showed us the saws used to cut him up, then that would be different.  As far as we can tell he might have done this himself.  I read once that some people are suicidal and that it can manifest itself in many ways.”

© 2007

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