Bill Gates Buys McDonald’s

New PC-Mac Happy Meals and Operating System Ahead

Inebriated Press
August 15, 2007

Bill Gates’ foundation announced today that it has purchased a major stake in McDonald’s Corporation and plans to use the new Microsoft / McDonalds deal to introduce a new PC-Mac operating system with the goal of cutting into the Apple Mac turf.  Additional plans include a minor change like a new Happy Meal containing used PC parts for kids to play with.  The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) says the deal is fine, but Parents Magazine expressed concern over the risk of children choking on the broken computer parts.  Gates is excited about the deal and said that most people are able to swallow Microsoft products “after a while” and very few have choked and died.  Steve Jobs is forming his own plan to counter the Gates venture.

Financial experts say the deal is a good one.  “A McD/MS platform of food and programming is a powerful combination,” said analyst Bugsy Stalone.  “The new PC-Mac operating system is going to have repercussions on Apple because it will allow Bill Gates the use of the brand name “Mac”.  I’ve already got people making book – I mean careful investments – on who wins in this deal.”

Steve Jobs, the Apple chief and long time Microsoft antagonist said he will fight the PC-Mac plan with his own tactical maneuver.  “I’ve formed ventures with the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) and the University of Berkley.  These are two staunch promoters of political correctness and share ownership of the term “p.c.” as an identifying trademark.  Within the next two weeks Apple will announce its own Mac-P.C. platform to combat the Gates-McDonald’s scheme.”

In other news Wendy’s is considering a venture with Cray Supercomputers and hopes to release a new ice cream Frosty designed to boost consumers I.Q. by over 50 points when eating one a week.

© 2007

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