New Discovery: Women Like Pink More Than Men

Holy hunter-gatherer!  The brains of men and women are different

Inebriated Press
August 28, 2007

A new study published in last weeks Proceedings of the Royal Society reveals that the brains of men and women differ and that women like the color pink more than men.  When given the choice of going to bed in either a pink teddy or green and brown camouflage pajamas 9 out of 10 men selected the pajamas while women chose the reverse.  Scientists couldn’t say why but declared that this clearly shows men are hunters and women are gatherers.  “Men and women are different,” said Scientist Claire Saylin.  “I’m almost positive.”

The study went on to say that women remember the locations of nutritionally valuable food resources more accurately than men do.  It also said that men could find Doritos under a couch cushion faster than women and had fewer qualms about eating them.  Women on the other hand could spot a bargain on shoes more quickly than men and could drive to the location of the sale without getting lost.  Women were also most willing to ask for directions if they were unsure.  Not everyone agrees with the studies conclusions.

“I think its bunk,” said Richard Simmons, exercise expert and sexual ameba.  “I like pink, I like Doritos, I hunt, I gather.  I can do it all.  Let me show you how I can split into another person using fission.” 

Dr. Irving Newt suggests that the study results show women’s minds are specialized for their ancestral task of gathering the sort of food that cannot run away.  He said women also enjoy gathering things like jewelry more than men.  On the other hand men are more hunter-like and tend to enjoy “chasing stuff”.  This seems to explain why men drive all over hunting for things and refusing to ask for help.  The study showed that the phrase “we’re lost but making good time” is perfectly logical to men.

“This revolutionary study reveals that the male brain differs from the female brain and visa versa,” said Dr. Newt.  “I’d like to explain more about how this works but I seem to have misplaced my report and I’ll be damned if I ask anyone where I put it.  Want some Doritos?”

© 2007

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