Weekend Ad Copy (WAC) by: Ronco Media’s Contract Marriage Division
September 8, 2007
Troubled by slow going relationships, nerds, jerks or pricy hookers? Looking for true love and marriage? Well now you can have a shot at it all and not even leave your computer!
Get it fast and cheap with eMarriageFastTrack!
That’s right, you can find love and marriage and have it for only $99.95 and in just 30 minutes or less! Don’t get sucked into those online marriage compatibility websites that promise to hook you up with someone after filling out a bunch of complex and confusing forms that make it hard to lie. You can have what you’re looking for right now!
Get a great long lasting relationship easily in just minutes!
Simply enter your drivers license and credit card data into our online web system, place your digital signature on our form agreeing to comply with whatever we ask and you’re set! Our high speed computers will match you with some person in your general geography within minutes! The system automatically processes all necessary legal forms and files them with the proper authorities.
Presto! You’re married! And that’s not all!
You also get many other exciting products and services included free:
* printable directions to a special rendezvous point at the closest legal meeting place available
* downloadable wedding pictures from exotic places with your drivers license photo carefully placed into them; no need to sit around waiting on an expensive photographer
* nifty materials to help you learn almost any language that might be helpful
* access to our special Q & A Website for newlyweds who have never met
* special discounts on Ronco eDivorceFastTrackAndContractLaw in case it doesn’t work out
How are we able to do this? Taking the time honored approach to matchmaking in ancient cultures we’ve updated them using high technology based systems and secret techniques. It’s been a lot of work for us, but it’s simple for you!
For your match made by desire and high tech, log on to eMarriageFastTrack.com and get married right now! Begin an exciting new life! It’ll be an experience you’ll never forget! We guarantee it!
When you want love and marriage think
Fine print: As is the case in many endeavors certain risks apply.
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