Conducts secret research on International Space Station
September 12, 2007
Americas well known but secretive Dog Faced Boy returned from the International Space Station this week landing safely in Central Kazakhstan. The multi-millionaire space tourist traveled to and from the Station under an agreement with the Russian Federal Space Agency. Russian officials said that the American agreed to pay Russia $15 million in cash and provide them with 100 Iowa Lotto Scratch Tickets. An unnamed source said the Dog Faced Boy was doing research for a deal he has with either Disney or the Spice Channel to appear in a movie called “The Dog Faced Boy and Milky Way”. Disney and Spice Channel officials would neither confirm nor deny the report and some sources say it’s a joint venture.
In past months both the Spice Channel and Disney have reportedly been considering shaggy dog stories involving pets, people and Russians. “We haven’t had much in the way of a decent shaggy dog story since our 1959 effort,” said Disney CEO Bob Iger in an interview with U.S. Farm Report last spring. “To juice things up we’ve considered creating genetically modified farm animals and involving Russian circus performers.” Reportedly a Spice executive also spoke with U.S. Farm Report and talked at length about silicon based life forms.
Secret sources within Disney tell us they believe there is a feature film ahead involving the Dog Faced Boy, modified Russian women and spices like nutmeg and cinnamon. Other sources say Old Spice Aftershave has a deal with the Russians to supply deodorant for dogs and that the Dog Faced Boy will be pitching the product in Russia. Spies at the CIA leaked a report last week indicating that dogs are less dangerous than Russians but when combined with the Spice Channel could wreak havoc on college campuses across America.
In other news, word out of the Australian Outback indicates a drier than usual summer with some crops and livestock getting jobs in theaters selling Slushies.
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