Love, Sex and War

New French military exhibit on sex during warfare

Inebriated Press / Tabloid Division
October 9, 2007

“Loves, Wars and Sexuality 1914-1945” is a new exhibition currently at the Army Museum in the Invalides military complex in Paris, France.  According to the display eroticism was harnessed by all of the governments involved in both World Wars to encourage recruitment and to beef up spirits.

“Our aim is to help understand sexuality better, by looking at it through the prism of war,” says Fab Virgil, the curator and a guy who enjoys talking sex in a military complex.  “Banging broads and shooting Germans was the thing to do back in those wars.  I guess something like it has been going on since.  The Yanks bailed us out of both those wars though, so I guess we French are better with broads than war.” 

Sex displays in a French military complex has become pretty standard and there are more displays of sex involving violence planned for the future.  “Sex and violence has long been part of the French experience,” said an unnamed French military attaché and vegetarian pacifist currently in charge of the nuclear program.  “We like to focus on the sex part.”

Since the face of Helen first launched a thousand ships against Troy, sex and warfare have been intimate companions.  Governments use sex to recruit.  The French displays include posters of bare-breasted women urging no surrender in 1914 France juxtaposed with images of muscle-bound American sailors, loading penis-like missiles in World War II. There are photos of a German blockhouse on the French Atlantic coast bearing a life-size mural of a perky bare-breasted woman in a shower. In a snap-shot from World War I, a North-African French soldier lies beside a sand sculpture of a naked girl on a Belgian beach – there’s no indication of how well he “made out”.

“I’m not much for war and fighting and stuff, including the common cold,” said Fab the curator, wiping his nose on his sleeve.  Fab is both curator and a top flight bikini wax salesman who protests war and peace on his days off.  “I enjoy the artistry of the nude pictures and soft core porn and the eroticism of the muscular American sailors and that kind of thing,” He says.  “I guess I’m not much of a fighter and I suppose that’s why I don’t care much for war.  But I once fought off a crowd to get to a sweater that was on sale.”

The exhibition includes a rare example of World War I American condoms — not so different from todays except for the hooks and laces — and intimate pictures of disease-ridden organs.  In a 1916 photograph Senegalese auxiliaries bare their buttocks for mercury injections to combat syphilis.

“Things weren’t much different in those days than they are today,” said Fab rubbing up against a chair leg.  “Sex and violence is as much a part of a good time today as it was nearly a century ago.  I suppose that’s the nature of procreation.  At least we still try that in France.” 

In other news, government statistics show that even with immigration the population of France is falling.  It looks like the French aren’t good at war or sex in the 21st Century.

© 2007 Inebriated Press

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