Willie Nelson Fights for Marijuana Rights

Downtrodden users need access to dope

Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
October 26, 2007

Singer and medicinal drug user Willie Nelson is petitioning the U.S. Congress to allow Americans who really want to use marijuana to be free to use it.  He says lack of freedom to smoke pot puts undue psychological stress on people who “need it bad”.  He cites the Declaration of Independence and says that the founders of the United States wanted citizens to have the right to pursue happiness and that includes pot.

“The stodgy conservative orthodoxy of many Americans who haven’t tried drugs either recreationally or for medical purposes, like curing a hang over, don’t understand what it’s like not to have easy and free access to weed,” said Nelson smoking an undisclosed substance in a Zig Zag wrapper.  “That makes me blue even when I’m not singing blues and that makes me feel bad about my tax problems.  And damn, I like feeling good all the time — and especially not thinking about my tax problems.”

Debate over legalization of marijuana and other substances sometimes referred to as “drugs” has raged in the U.S. for years and some U.S. States have taken it on their own and declared certain amounts of marijuana to be legal as long as it’s been prescribed by a doctor who’s not named Cheech.  Willie Nelson has been arrested for possession of marijuana and brownies of unknown origin and says it’s been a psychological struggle to deal with.  He feels that any American should be able to smoke pot whenever they want so they can avoid being depressed about not having free access.  Not everyone thinks that legalizing marijuana is the right thing to do.

“Marijuana, cocaine and other substances currently illegal in the United States should remain illegal,” said a source who wanted us to refer to him only as “Wally”.  “I own this territory and I don’t want nobody horning in just because it got legal or something.  I deal the stuff fair and with only a reasonable profit involved and that’s the way it should stay.  Besides this currency valuation shit is really messing with the business and I got enough troubles with shooting folks I have to and all.”

National Public Radio (NPR) reported that with the U.S. dollar falling, Canadian pot exporters are seeing their profits surge. And pot smokers in this country are paying the price: 50 percent more for Canadian weed.  But thanks to the weaker Mexican peso, the Mexican-grown stuff is getting pretty cheap although quality is sometimes lacking.
 
“It’s high time we legalize this stuff so U.S. farmers can grow it and we don’t have to rely on foreign produced weed,” said Acting Agriculture Secretary Chuck Conner, shocking most members of the Cabinet but showing his staunch support for American’s desires to become less dependent on foreign countries for bad food, Middle Eastern oil and now, marijuana.  “If I were appointed full time Ag Secretary and could serve a few more years I’d have more initiatives that would increase trade while controlling foreign dependence.  It’s important to me that drug dependent Americans have good quality stuff raised by U.S. citizens that don’t contain additives and fillers.”

In related news, Willie Nelson performed at the 22nd annual Farm Aid concert in 2007.  Nelson, Neil Young and John Mellencamp organized the first Farm Aid concert in 1985 to raise awareness about the loss of family farms and to raise funds to keep farm families on their land. Dave Matthews joined the Farm Aid Board of Directors in 2001.  Supporting U.S. farmers and drug users are a passion for the artists and they enjoy the fruits of both.

© 2007 InebriatedPress.com

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