Profanity boosts morale

Harvard Business School adds swearing course

Inebriated Press
October 29, 2007

A new British study published in the Leadership and Organization Development Journal says that profanity can boost morale and increase “solidarity” among staff. As a result, Harvard Business School (HBS) announced it will be the first Ivy League college with a “Business Profanity” graduate level course. Yale says they think the idea is stupid and said Harvard was made up of low life sons of bitches intermixed with some real assholes who couldn’t find practical grad school courses if they were tattooed on their dicks. Reportedly this reaction boosted morale at Yale, but did little to change Harvard’s decision.

“Had the people at Yale taken our course on profanity, they’d have made better use of the term ass hole and better clarified the nature of the sons of bitches that they were talking about,” said Jay Light the Dean at HBS who frequently criticizes Home Box Office for countermanding the schools HB initials. “The use of profanity is very effective in business and in general communication, but it’s important to understand the cultural import and intellectual nuance in order to maximize the effectiveness of the words. But then, the folks at Yale are really just a bunch of porn queens and douche bags. It’s how I’d expect them to react.”

The research suggests that while imposing a ban on profanity and reprimanding staff might seem like strong leadership, it would remove the source of solidarity and in doing so could lead to decreased morale and work motivation. Professor Yehuda Baruch says that abusive and offensive swearing “should be eliminated where it generates greater levels of stress, rather than helping to relieve it.” He admitted that finding a happy medium is a tough proposition for supervisors.

“Each businesses has its own culture and the level of uplifting profanity differs somewhat from one company to another,” said Professor Baruch cursing out his mail boy and effectively boosting his morale and encouraging him to find different work. “Even in schools where all kinds of swearing are normal, some students and staff are more edified than others.”

In other news, OJ Simpson says his arrest in Las Vegas was made by “vile half wits with %!#@%$! for brains” and potential love interests have been motivated to run for their lives.

© 2007

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