Madonna Wants Arabs and Cats Dead

Has had enough of both
Starts New Religious Cult

Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
December 3, 2007

Entertainment Weekly in conjunction with Reuters International reported today that pop star Madonna has established a new religious cult with the objective of killing all cats and people of Arabic decent.   Reportedly she says she’s tired of both and wants them wiped off the face of the earth.  Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said he was suing Madonna because she was taking his idea for Jews and pigs.  Debate is raging over who’s idea should be carried out.

“Clearly my idea should be followed because I announced it before Madonna did, and the killing of Jews and pigs is really a time honored tradition that has been followed by many noble cultures across the centuries,” said the Iranian President, chucking a can of Hormel Spam into a nearby dumpster and then washing his hands in disinfectant and rinsing them in the blood of an Iranian who wasn’t gay but thought he was.  “Besides, pop singers who advocate the extermination of any people or species should always be subjugated to Middle Eastern leaders with countries who have a tradition of whipping women if they’re raped for looking cute and beheading infidels at will.”

The term “cult” roughly refers to a cohesive social group devoted to beliefs or practices that the surrounding culture considers outside the mainstream, with a notably positive or negative popular perception.  In common or populist usage, “cult” has a positive connotation for groups of art, music, writing, fiction, and fashion devotees, but a negative connotation for new religious, extreme political, questionable therapeutic, and pyramidal business groups.  For this reason, most, if not all, non-fan groups that are called cults reject this label.  Since most Islamofascists are supported by full fledged countries like Iran or religious leaders from mainstream Middle Eastern countries, the term “cult” doesn’t apply to them.  Interestingly the Nazi’s weren’t a cult either after they took over Germany and began exterminating Jews as a form of popular expression.

In other news, Madonna denies that she wants cats or Arabs wiped out but said she is rethinking that opinion as it relates to Ahmadinejad personally, having heard his views on humanity and “common sense”.

© 2007

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