Martian rover spots him in High School year-book
Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
December 5, 2007
US presidential candidate and Senator Barack Obama is a Martian and in the country illegally. That’s according to NASA scientists who say their Mars rover spotted a High School year book on the red planet, and it contained a picture of the candidate in the ukulele club. Debate is raging over whether Obama should be expelled from the US for being here illegally or given special financial benefits and allowed to become president.
“Our Mars rover spotted the school year-book last month under a pile of old T-shirts on the back side of the planet,” said NASA administrator Michael Griffin, lining up green and red Jell-O shots in alternating colors. “According to the book Obama was voted ‘most likely to grow a beard’ so the jury is still out on whether he’ll become president or have facial hair. We at NASA are real interested in how it comes out and are taking bets using an online casino so we can wager legally.”
The Federal Election Commission has said that illegal aliens can’t run for president, but the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has filed suit in support of the candidate arguing that denying Obama the presidency would infringe on his rights.
“To deny Obama a run for the presidency simply because his picture appears in a Martian year-book is tantamount to denying him a leadership role that he ought to have because he wants it,” said ACLU Executive Director Tony Romero, handing out forged green cards to Mexican meat packing workers crossing the border. “Who knows better how to run the country than people who have never lived here? If he has any student loans we should pay them too. It’ll reduce the pressure on him financially and allow him to focus on other things.”
Bob Lenhard, Chairman of the Federal Election Commission said he’ll wait and see if Obama wins the presidency before deciding what to do about his status as an alien. “He shouldn’t really run for president if he’s here illegally, but the US has been pretty flexible about letting illegal’s do stuff in the country,” said Lenhard, placing an online bet that Barack will have facial hair sometime during the next 90 days. “If he wins we’ll figure something out.”
In other news, the Obama for President campaign denies that the candidate is an alien and says that he’s never been on Mars. Reportedly they believe Hillary Clinton is an alien or at the very least a man in drag.
© 2007 InebriatedPress.com