Islamofascists in France riot on the news
Inebriated Press / Tabloid Division
December 12, 2007
Radical Islamic Frenchmen took to the streets yesterday, calling for the beheading of a Canadian chef who said in a Food Channel exclusive last week that French toast was invented in 1724 by a man named Joseph French in a roadside tavern near Albany, New York. The Canadian Government has offered an apology for the chef and said they would ban him from watching hockey games this season if it will placate the radical Muslim’s. Reportedly, tense negotiations between rioters and Canadian officials are underway.
“We don’t want any trouble and giving up hockey is an enormous concession that we’re willing to make if it’ll calm things down,” said a Canadian official, tossing back a quart of brandy and flipping through an album of circus pictures. “We’re a peace loving people and things are chilly enough around here. We don’t want any hard feelings.”
The chef, known as “Wee Willy White Sox the French Toast King” told the Food Channel that his revelation was based on some books he found recently in his sock drawer. He claimed that debate over the origin of French Toast had been bothering him a lot and he decided it was time for a definitive conclusion.
“The written material I found in my sock drawer clarified what I’ve been thinking about for some time,” said the Toast King, juggling his eyes like oranges. “In between some grade school pictures and an old Playboy, I found a pamphlet about toast and it said that Sam French had invented it. You can’t find stronger evidence than that.”
In other news, political candidates for the U.S. presidency continue to give speeches based on things they’re finding in their sock drawers and strangely enough, some Americans are debating the ideas as though they’re tasty as French Toast. At least that’s what four out of five radical Muslim French rioters are saying.
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