Arrested at post-award party
Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
December 18, 2007
Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore was arrested last night at a party following his acceptance of a Nobel Peace Prize won for telling people that it’s getting warmer outside. Reportedly Gore was taken into custody by Oslo authorities after stripping off a bra and sequined dress and accepting a 50 kroner note that someone tucked into his g-string. It’s okay to be a cross-dressing stripper and to accept money in Norway, but you have to register as an artist with the government. Gore hadn’t registered and was found in violation of a public artist rule. Gore expressed disappointment.
“For crying out loud, I’m a Nobel Prize winner, I can do what I want,” Gore reportedly said while shaking his ass simultaneously in two directions. “It’s hotter outside and we have to do something about that, listen to me people, and don’t think about all the greenhouse gas emissions that my mansion kicks out or what my travel here has cost the environment. It’s not about what I’m doing wrong it’s about everyone else’s screw ups. I should be president for god’s sake.”
Authorities said Gore forgot his ATM card back home and expected to be given a bag of cash and not a check with the Peace Prize, so he was trying to earn some cash to pay for lunch and his trip back home. Last year a Norwegian appeals court ruled that striptease is an art form and should therefore be exempt from value-added taxes. Gore said he was willing to pay for the permit to strip, but authorities said the fact that he was doing it at a party not officially for art or stripping disqualified him. Greenpeace is taking action to help him out.
“Al has done a good job of telling people that things are warming up outside and he deserves our support with this new stripper fund raising venture he’s started,” said John Passacantando, Executive Director at Greenpeace, crushing a small child recently accused of saying bad things about baby seals. “American leaders who condemn their own country over all kinds of things are a dime a dozen, but ones who not only rip their country but also strip for money are few and far between. We need to protect and support them like dolphins or other lonely fish.”
Gore received the award at a gala ceremony in Oslo’s city hall before Norwegian royalty, leaders and invited guests. The other Nobel awards – the ones with actual meaning – in medicine, chemistry, physics, literature and economics, were presented at a separate ceremony in Stockholm, Sweden.
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