Soup versus Stew Battle Heating Up

Lawsuit breaks out in messy controversy without aprons

Inebriated Press / Tabloid Division
December 21, 2007

Hormel Foods Corp. filed a lawsuit against Campbell Soup Co., alleging the company uses false advertising to suggest its new line of Chunky soups contain as much meat as stews.  Meat company and SPAM maker Hormel says they know a thing or two about stew meats and although they recently lost a lawsuit against Spam Arrest LLC, a provider of software and services aimed at stopping email spam, they think they can beat Campbell’s Soup. 

“A judge said we weren’t due any money from Spam Arrest because they weren’t trying keep our SPAM out of peoples email and that people could tell the difference between the meat and the spam they get on their PC’s,” said Hormel CEO Jeffrey Ettinger, chewing a ham bone.  “I still disagree, but one thing I’m sure of: there’s a huge difference between stew and soup and by golly we’re going to make Campbell’s stop lying to the American public about the soup they claim is stew.”

Spam Arrest won a five-year legal battle against Hormel Foods Corp to keep its trademark.  And Hormel claims in its suit against Campbell’s, that their “Chunky Fully Loaded Beef Stew” does not contain enough meat to constitute a “stew,” as defined by “industry standards.”  Campbell places the word “soup” on its labels, but Hormel, which makes Dinty Moore stews and other meat products, says it does not do so prominently enough.  Campbell’s disagrees.

“Our labels are renowned in both the retail grocery industry and in the art community and no one should think we’re deceitful just because we call something a stew in name and a soup in fine print,” said Campbell spokesman Andy Warhol, licking a picture of Marilyn Monroe.  “You don’t see any of their labels in New York’s Museum of Modern Art or being promoted in a symposium as pop art.  Campbell’s labels are American icons and all Hormel’s got going for them is some kind of junk email.”

In other news, aprons and bibs are now out of fashion since society is being reconstructed on napkins, and nine out of ten cooks don’t spoil the broth.

© 2007 InebriatedPress.com

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