TIME Mag’s Person of Year Lashes out at U.S.

Says only American journalists understand him

Inebriated Press / Division of Rant (with Pretzels)
December 24, 2007

Russian President Vladimir Putin accused the United States last week of trying to undermine Russia’s plan for global dominance and said Washington was trying to harm Moscow’s attempts to build friendships with Islamofascists.  Named TIME Magazine’s Person of The Year last Wednesday, Putin said that U.S. leaders should listen to journalist’s who like him and continually bash American government and prodemocracy efforts.

“The U.S. has been a real irritant to those of us on the globe busily consolidating our personal power as well as developing and encouraging nuclear and chemical devises,” said the Person of The Year, scratching all of his itches at once.  “The U.S. has destabilized a peaceful Middle East with ideas of freedom and has gone so far as to criticize classic beheadings of noncombatants and the traditional beating of rape victims.  And they have the nerve to tell me to stop selling nuclear material and technology to rogue states.  Only TIME magazine and other American journalists who prefer socialism and powerful dictatorships over silly democratic freedoms really understand what I’m about.  Only they will receive my cheerful anti-Christian Christmas cards this year.  The rest get nothing, the bastards.”

TIME Magazine announced Putin as their Person of the Year last week and then spent the balance of the week explaining and defending their choice.  “We named Princess Diana our Person of the Year and no one seemed to mind,” said TIME’s Yuri Zarakhovich, reporting from inside Russia, desperately ignoring the Putin controlled Russian media’s orgasmic reaction to TIME’s announcement.  “In addition to all the nice things we said about Putin, we also said some negative stuff.   Heck, who am I kidding.  After the assassination of Russia’s Forbes editor and a bunch of others, TIME is naming the son of a bitch Person of The Year and damn it, I’m still alive and reporting from Moscow.  Now let me alone.”

The former chief editor of “Forbes Russia”, Paul Klebnikov, an American citizen of Russian origin, was murdered in Moscow on July 9, 2004. The crime remains unsolved. New York Magazine wrote, “he had left New York and gone to Russia as a reformer, an investigative reporter committed to using the power of the press to stop a new class of oligarchs from ransacking the country under the guise of capitalism.”

Richard Behar of Project Klebnikov wrote in July 2005, on the one-year anniversary of Khlebnikov’s death, “At least 12 reporters have been murdered in contract-style hits since the Putin government came to power – the latest on June 28 – and not a single case has been solved, according to the Committee to Protect Journalists, which just completed a conference in Moscow with the families of the victims.  As Paul himself wrote about how the big business of murder was undermining Russia: ‘The police solve only a fraction of these contract killings.  There simply is no political will to enforce the law’.”

0n Oct. 7, 2006, Putin’s birthday, Russian journalist and mother of two children Anna Politkovskaya was shot four times in the elevator of her building in Moscow in a political assassination.  She had been planning to release a story the next day in one of the few remaining independent papers, Novaya Gazeta, outlining torture practices used by Chechen authorities, who function as Russia’s henchmen.  She published several award-winning books about Chechnya, life in Russia, and President Putin’s regime, including one just prior to her murder called, “Putin’s Russia”.

In related news, Edmund Burke once said, “The only think necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”  But perhaps doing nothing is better than advancing the illusion that evil is good.

© 2007 InebriatedPress.com

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