Jerry Seinfeld’s new Sea Movie

Sequel to Bee Movie

Inebriated Press / Tabloid Division
January 2, 2008

Following the success of his “Bee Movie” comedian Jerry Seinfeld is producing a second animated film named the “Sea Movie”.  Reportedly the movie is about an old man who lives by the sea and collects fragile and uniquely colored sea shells.  The plot twists when someone explains to the old man that he’s actually collecting prophylactic wrappers.

“I had a lot of fun with the ‘Bee Movie’ and wanted to continue the alphabet so I decided the ‘Sea Movie’ was the one to make next,” said Seinfeld, eating a lot of brand name foods and washing them down with multiple brand named drinks.  “I was going to do ‘A Movie’ but then I’d be going down the alphabet and couldn’t go any farther.  With the ‘Sea Movie’ I can still do a ‘Dee Movie’ in the future.  It makes good alphabetical sense.”

Some movie critics and experts of the alphabet say that Bee and Sea aren’t like B and C at all and really don’t mean much of anything.  “This A, Bee and Sea movie stuff makes no sense to me and I can’t see how it relates to either movies or to the alphabet,” said Susie Q, a woman who likes using one letter for her last name and frequents anchovy based restaurants.  “I like Jerry but don’t have a clue as to what he’s thinking or what the prophylactic wrappers are supposed to symbolize in the ‘Sea Movie’.”

“Bee Movie” is a Golden Globe-nominated computer animated film starring Jerry Seinfeld and Renée Zellweger.  Produced by DreamWorks Animation, it is directed by Simon J. Smith and Steve Hickner.  “Bee Movie” is the first motion-picture script to be written by Seinfeld, who co-wrote it with Spike Feresten, Barry Marder, and Andy Robin.  The upcoming “Sea Movie” will be directed by Tim Burton and co-written by Seinfeld and Stephen King. 

“The ‘Sea Movie’ will be one of the first pure horror animae films where the protagonist turns out to be a prophylactic wrapper collector,” said Stephen King, nervously looking over his left shoulder for sneaky evil stuff.  “If this film works out okay, I’m hoping Seinfeld will let me write the Dee movie with him.  I want it to be about a woman named Dee Dee who has double-D’s and likes to dance and drink and do other stuff involving the letter D.  I think it’d be a real hit.”

In related news, Roman numeral enthusiasts are disappointed in Seinfeld’s focus on the alphabet and think he should turn to numerals.  They say that in the long run it’s all that really “counts”.

© 2008

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