Has had enough of “candy ass” Democrats
Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
January 3, 2008
Singer and movie star Barbara Streisand announced today her endorsement of John Taylor Bowles the fascist National Socialist Movement candidate for president of the United States. The move surprised Democrats who have relied on Streisand money to fund their candidates’ runs, and who didn’t think a women with Streisand’s Jewish heritage would back a Nazi. Streisand says she’s adamant.
“I’ve been backing Democrat candidates and have ended up either losing or with Clinton banging interns in the White House,” said Streisand, battling hemorrhoids and post nasal drip. “I was going to finance Hillary’s candidacy but when she kept changing positions and just attacking people who disagreed with her, I had enough. I don’t typically like Nazi’s because they don’t like Jews, but with my money behind them I think they’ll moderate that position. It’s my bet that on other issues they’ll do what they say because they don’t really give a shit about anybody else. That kind of sums up my current attitude on things too.”
Current Senator and candidate for president, Hillary Clinton, expressed disappointment. “I like Barbara and have liked her politics in the past because it was money in the bank for me. This turn to the Nazi is not a good thing,” said Clinton, waxing her upper lip and trying to polish her image. “I have a weakness for fascism and could even become a dictator myself in a pinch. Barbara should take that into account before she firms up that Nazi deal. I’m as good as they are but have less natural hatred for her heritage.”
John Taylor Bowles is the National Socialist Movement candidate for the upcoming U.S. Presidential Election to be held on November 4th, 2008. Bowles, 49, has been in the National Socialist Movement for 33 years, was honorably discharged from the United States Air Force as a Telecommunications Operations Specialist, and is a retired Department of Agriculture federal officer who currently resides in South Carolina. His platform consists of White Supremacist and Aryan political ideals, such as declaring non-whites as non-citizens of the United States, along with other issues, such as: decrease immigration, provide free healthcare, improve public education, recognize traditional marriage, and maintain the right to bear arms. Most of these are supported by the Clinton campaign except Hillary is okay with most non-whites but is openly prejudice against all Canadians.
In other news, Howard Hughes remains a dead billionaire and nine out of ten dentists would like his money.
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