Queen Elizabeth embroiled in Internet scandal

Parliament wants nude photos removed from website
Her Majesty says “I’m Queen, I do what I want”

Inebriated Press / Tabloid Division
January 9, 2008

Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom has not been known for being risqué or combative, but her current hobby has got Parliament in a tizzy.  The Queen surprised some when she announced she was putting “The Royal Channel” on YouTube last December and has shocked people this month by including video clips of her and hubby Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, in make-out sessions which include nudity.  Members of the House of Lords say that Sovereign or not, this is going too far.

“Displaying the royal bum and boobs for all the world to see is so inappropriate that even members of the House of Commons don’t think it’s right,” said Helene Hayman, Lord Speaker of the House of Lords, a strong believer in well secured undergarments and a supporter of private displays of nudity.  “I admit she’s held up well for her age but still, even we Brit’s must draw the line somewhere.”

Some feel that by publicly exposing herself on the popular Internet website, the Queen is making herself and the Monarchy more approachable and even relevant to Americans.  “I’ve never seed nothin like this in Playboy,” said Zeb Clanton, a hair raising narcissist living in the U.S. Deep South who still thinks the Civil War is going on.  “Dat bitch can be my Queen any day.  Course anythingz better than the damn Yankees.  Sons of bitches.”

“The Royal Channel – The Official Channel of the British Monarchy” was launched on YouTube last year just before Christmas.  The Queen posted her annual Christmas Day message and the launch marked the 50th anniversary of the Queen’s first televised festive address in 1957.  The Palace said it hoped the site would make the 81-year-old monarch’s annual speech “more accessible to younger people and those in other countries”.  Back in 1957, when the Queen delivered her first television message, she acknowledged the need to adapt to changing times.  Her decision to add nudity now is an extension of her effort to continue adapting and connecting with more people.

“Effective communication is the mother’s milk of society and displaying the Royal mammary to the surfing public will help the world better understand that Royalty is still part of humanity and that humanity and nudity exists in Royalty,” said a statement released by the Palace in a plain brown wrapper.  “It was with clear speaking and clear imagery that we Briton’s conquered so much of the world before giving it back, or being beat out of it.  YouTube can help us take back the world, even if it’s only in a sort of metaphysical way.”

In related news, professors of metaphysics say the Queen may exist in a state on non-reality, but since they can’t prove their own existence the Queen has ignored them.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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