Britney versus the Teen Sex Show

Reality programming gets real

Inebriated Press
January 11, 2008

The New York Daily News reports that pop star and champion of personal freedom, Britney Spears, fled Los Angeles for New York this week out of fear that her parents and local doctors were planning to capture and cure her of the right to do whatever she wants.  Meanwhile, CBS News says the Midwest Teen Sex Show, a new Internet podcast from Wisconsin, has hit the Internet talking birth control, sex, pedophilia and what tends to happen next.  The debate over freedom, responsibility and risk spins on, with the Midwest weighing in as the Coasts battle it out.

“Britney is a refugee today because her abusive parents are trying to ‘cure’ her of the freedom she exercises which includes drinking, drug taking, panty-less partying and the risk she has become to her children,” said Sophie Small, a misunderstood postal recipient who takes placebos for her bipolar disorder.  “No one has a right to stop her from doing whatever she wants.  It’s high time that Americans become more tolerant and understand that personal freedom can not and should not be restrained in any way.  Britney is a saint and a metaphor for our time.”

Not everyone is sure that people should do whatever they want and some are encouraging personal reflection and occasional restraint.  “No one should do anything they want all the time, even if it’s within their power,” said Nikol Hasler, a PTA mom and host of the Midwest Teen Sex Show, whose credentials include getting knocked up after a one-night stand.  “Two of the three kids I have are because I did what I wanted and didn’t think about the risk.  I’m doing the Internet program because I want teens to avoid doing what I did, or at least understand that certain consequences exist for their actions.”

Spears hopped a private jet in Van Nuys with paparazzo boyfriend Adnan Ghalib and took off for Teterboro Airport in New Jersey, where the couple landed Wednesday night.  Reportedly Britney got spooked by published reports her family planned to have cops haul her out of her home and take her to a hospital for the second time in a week, if necessary, friends said.  Spears was forcibly admitted to the hospital last week after she went bonkers when ex-hubby Kevin Federline’s bodyguards came to pick up their two sons, Jayden James and Sean Preston.

The Midwest Teen Sex Show is a provocative podcast that shoves sex-ed into the 21st century, starring a PTA mom with a past, CBS News correspondent Cynthia Bowers reports.  The mother of three from Waukesha, Wisconsin, says she’s able to do it because she learned sex-ed the hard way — when she got pregnant at 18 after a one-night-stand.  Although it’s a racy approach to sex-ed and makes parents nervous, a recent study found abstinence programs that preach “just say no,” just don’t work. 

In other news, Britain’s Daily Sun reports that a guy named George Fryer is accusing the UK health care system of breaching his human rights by only prescribing him one Viagra tablet a week.  “This is a ban on my sex life,” he told The Sun.  No word on whether he plans to flee to New York.

(C) 2008

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