Time to Make Age a Divisive Issue

Women, Blacks and Youth can be President, not Old Experienced People

Inebriated Press
January 22, 2008

Campaigning for Mike Huckabee for U.S. president, actor Chuck Norris said Sunday that Senator John McCain is too old to handle the pressures of being president.  McCain is 72 and Norris said it’s important to ignore the fact that Ronald Reagan was elected at age 70 and re-elected at age 74.  Reagan left office at age 78.  Norris also said that despite the fact that Picasso had his fourth child at age 68 and was still entertaining friends and painting when he died at age 92 that old people are stupid and anyone older than 68 doesn’t know what he’s doing.  Norris said he is currently 67 and that’s the best age to be when determining whether people of other ages can function within society.  Presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are relieved that Norris is at least leaving inexperienced blacks and women alone.

“I think all the white male Republican presidential candidates are too old and decrepit to think clearly and withstand all the rigors of a scandal ridden presidency,” said Hillary Rodham Clinton, a 60 year old white woman currently vying for a central role in an upcoming scandal ridden presidency.  “I have a lot of respect for actors who bash candidates competing for the same job I am, and think Norris is on target with his comments.”

Not everyone thinks that bashing age and experience is the right thing to do.  “McCain served four years in the House of Representatives and twenty in the Senate, and he’s a decorated war veteran,” said Joe Mannix, a TV detective who knew how to take a beating but wouldn’t give up.  “Obama served two years as Senator; the last one spent campaigning for president.  Hillary was just re-elected Senator and before that was the wife of a president.  I suppose McCain probably doesn’t have what it takes to run the country, but the other two do?  I haven’t been beat up and knocked unconscious enough times to believe that nonsense.”

Actor Chuck Norris hosted a fundraiser for Huckabee at his Lone Wolf Ranch over the weekend and said that McCain lacks youth, vision and communication skills.  He said that only people under 68 have those skills.  Huckabee, coming off a disappointing second-place finish in the South Carolina GOP primary to McCain, distanced himself from Norris’ comments and said that genetics and not only age can help a person stay lucid.  McCain’s campaign ignored both comments, citing some old adage about discretion being the better part of valor. 

Reportedly valor and discretion were things that people valued in the past and old folks are trying to drag the concepts into the present.  Hillary says if she’s elected she’ll propose a law to stop them.  Norris said he will speak out in favor of Hillary’s plan, if he still remembers who he is next year.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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