Weekend Ad Copy (WAC) by: Ronco Media Covert Op’s Division
Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
January 26, 2008
Made your money and now tired of the ole’ ball and chain? Wish you could trade up to a spouse that better fits your current vision of yourself? Pressed for time? Have we got a deal for you!
Trade in your old wife or husband for a brand new one by signing up for Ronco Media’s Trophy Spouse Package! Let us handle the tricky details of removing your old spouse and replacing him or her with a leggy blonde Finnish model or muscular stud who likes household chores (you chose which when filling out the application form) that better fits your new lifestyle!
That’s right; now you can have the spouse you’ve been wishing you had! You’ve become wealthy and successful and we can help you get rid of the old stuff you’ve got around the house and replace it with new flashier stuff!
No kidding, for only $250,000 and a signed document with lots of fine print, we’ll manage the entire process and have you sitting with someone pretty in less than 45 days!
How can we provide you a Trophy Spouse and lose the old one for just $250,000? It may sound complicated but it’s actually pretty simple. We’ve expanded our escort services and have a complete inventory of fine looking men and women on hand. Couple those replacement parts along with our Japanese mafia connections and we have a quick spouse removal and replacement service all in one!
Get your Trophy Spouse quickly and easily by sending cash or easily negotiable securities totaling $250,000 along with your email or fax number and we’ll rush you the forms you’ll need to tell us the spouse replacement you desire and to provide other personal information we’ll need to track and remove your current spouse. Send it to:
Ronco Media Covert Op’s Division
Attn: Japanese Mafia
New York, New York 54321
Fine print: There is a chance that your personality may not mesh with your new spouse who may or may not be Finnish or a model or a stud. Some risks like being arrested or losing your investment may apply. Ronco Media isn’t responsible for anything.
© 2008 InebriatedPress.com