Weekend Ad Copy (WAC) by: Ronco Media Alien Defense Division
Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
February 2, 2008
You’ve seen the movies about aliens from outer space and read the recent news stories about the flying saucers in Texas. You’re feeling a bit edgy knowing that aliens are reading your mind and maybe your mail. You’re just like the rest of us: innocent folks trying to get along but persecuted with the knowledge that aliens know your thoughts and plan to use them against you. Well together we can stop them, and do it quickly and inexpensively!
Get the secret techniques and have the equipment that NASA experts use to block the aliens from reading top scientists minds!
There’s no point putting it off any longer. We all know that aliens have penetrated our brains and are collecting our thoughts and have secret plans to do stuff to us. We’ve got to stop them but not everyone wants to believe us or help. That’s too bad for them. At least you and I can do something to protect ourselves and our loved ones. How? With the easy to use Pocket Alien Foil protection kit!
Effectively foil the alien’s and render their thought collection cylinders empty!
That’s right; now YOU can have the high tech foil created by NASA scientists for use by astronauts and other smart people who want to keep their thoughts to themselves. How? For only $250.00 we’ll provide you with Pocket Alien Foil protection for a family of four. Don’t have a family of four? You’ll have spares to save others you care about. Don’t care about anyone else? You’ll have spares in case you loose one! Don’t put it off another day! The aliens are out to get you!
Protect yourself with Pocket Alien Foil for only $250.00!
How can we provide you fabulous Pocket Alien Foil protection for only $250.00? It may seem complicated but it’s really pretty simple. We took our carefully acquired NASA formula to Indonesia where people work dirt cheap and are almost starving to death. We contracted with them to work dirt cheap for us but for enough money to buy a burger now and then. The rest is history! We’ve got top notch products that deflect alien brain probes and can offer them to you way below the typical Chinese/NASA products, and they’re just as effective!
Get your Pocket Alien Foil protection today. Don’t delay, they already know you’re thinking about it and might stop you if you don’t act immediately. Don’t take chances, send $250.00 in cash or money order, along with your mailing address, right away, to:
Ronco Media Alien Defense Division
Attn: Aluminum Foil Drawer
New York, New York 54321
Fine print: There is a chance that aluminum foil won’t stop aliens from capturing you and experimenting on your body with rectal probes. Pocket Alien Foil is only designed to stop them from reading your mind. To protect your ass request flier number 986 from the Rubber Stopper Division. As always, Ronco Media and its affiliated companies and scoundrels aren’t responsible for anything.
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