Liar and consumer activist backed by far-far left of the far left
Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
February 6, 2008
Michael Moore, movie maker and master of the innuendo and blatant falsehood, has announced that he is running for president of the United States. Reportedly consumer activist and crabby old guy, Ralph Nader will be his running mate. Political pundits say the far-far left felt left-out by Clinton and Obama’s conservative views of only jumping taxes by 40 percent and plans to nationalize only a few industries like health care, and maybe the U.S. banking system. Investor and socialist George Soros, is funding their campaign.
“Social engineering has been moving way too slowly and even though I’m kicking cash to Hillary and Barack, they just aren’t planning to advance socialism as quickly as they should,” said investor Soros, planning a rewrite of history, beginning with the U.S. Constitution. “I pretty much do what I want, but not everyone wants what I do. That leaves me little choice but to buy and sell candidates as I position things so tomorrow’s United States is what we find as today’s France. You know, less morality, more intellectual dishonesty, lots of politically driven programs, plenty of unemployment and other progressive stuff that makes that country better than this one.”
Not everyone likes the idea of a country that hates itself and borders on self destruction. “The U.S. is the most powerful, most free and most giving of any country that has existed in history,” said Franklin D. Roosevelt, speaking from the beyond by using kite string and Campbell’s Soup cans. “We have helped more countries and given more individual freedoms both at home and abroad, than any other country, ever. Independence, freedom of expression and industry and ingenuity has never been greater than right here in the U.S. Why would anyone want to exchange that for the failed policies of socialism? Those who ignore history are destined to repeat it. I guess some people would rather ignore history. It’d be nice if they left free folks alone when they do it.”
The battle between personal freedom and personal responsibility has gone on across the ages, with occasional intervention by warlords and dictators. Those who would take away personal freedom and responsibility have tended to give citizens little of anything in return and often still makes them finance and build everything. Those who would fight for the freedom of the individual along with responsibility, have been fewer, and have tended to leave greater responsibility for ones own pursuit of happiness while giving them the most freedom to pursue it. In the end the most efficient forms of government, on paper, are those by dictatorship. Yet, those have the fewest supporters because the people tend to get screwed early and often. It seems that the greatest amount of freedom works the best for those take the most personal responsibility. And those who won’t take responsibility tend to loose or give away their freedom. The fact that some have a choice at all means that they exist in a State where there is freedom. Lacking that, there is no choice. Perhaps there is something to be said for the value of choice. And thus, for personal responsibility.
“I don’t like being responsible for much, but would like things given to me so I have a happy life,” said Becky Mae, a large-boned girl who enjoys sewing, soccer and slapping people she disagrees with. “I think the Moore/Nader ticket will give me stuff and not expect much of me. But I suppose they’ll still want something. Some taxes I suppose, huh? Or maybe they’ll just take all the money and give me a percentage back, based on how much they think I’ll need. Or maybe they’ll do something else all together. Hmmmm. Maybe I should be more responsible for myself and have more control over what I make and what I do with it. Gosh, this stuff is sure a bother to think about. Maybe I’ll just watch American Idol and let somebody else figure it out.”
In other news, some people say the freedom to have sex is over-rated, but most folks are willing to give it a try anyway.
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