Weekend Ad Copy (WAC) by: Ronco Media NASA Knock-off Office
Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
February 9, 2008
Tired of sore cuticles and hangnails that are ugly and uncomfortable? Wish that you could find the cure for once and for all? Well stop gnashing your teeth and get ready for a solution from space! All will be well!
Get the product discovered by NASA rovers on Mars and beamed to nail chewing scientists whose hangnails were cured within days!
That’s right! The same product that healed the sore chewed-up fingers and hangnails of NASA experts can be yours. You will have more attractive looking and more comfortable feeling fingers within days of using this simple, but amazing product!
Look and feel sexier by going hangnailess!
That’s right; now YOU can have the secret that NASA discovered and can have it in your own home by sending us your order for 10 gel capsules of NASA Formulated Martian Finger Grease and enclosing just $49.95 in cash.
Get the hangnail cure that healed NASA, today!
How can we provide so many doses of this amazing scientific cure for only $49.95? It may seem complicated, but it’s really very simple. We eavesdropped on the conversation of high level NASA experts at a bar in Houston; then blackmailed them for the secret by using some local hookers. Once we new the formula for the product, we contacted our dependable Chinese suppliers and had it produced! Now we’re offering it to you at incredible discounts off of the cost you’d have to pay to do the same thing! It’s just that simple!
Order your 10 capsules of NASA Formulated Martian Finger Grease by sending $49.95 in cash or money order, along with your mailing address, right away, to:
Ronco Media NASA Knock-off Division
Attn: Vitamin E Cupboard
New York, New York 54321
Fine print: There is a slight chance that our secret product is actually just vitamin E and you could buy it for yourself at a local drugstore. There’s also a chance that the NASA experts we eavesdropped on were pharmaceutical representatives or vitamin salesmen. As always, Ronco Media and its affiliated companies and scoundrels aren’t responsible for anything.
© 2008 InebriatedPress.com