WAC: Always Smell Fresh With Our Amazing Royal Necklace

Weekend Ad Copy (WAC) by: Ronco Media Mechanic Shop
Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
February 16, 2008

Tired of watching people roll their eyes and pass out after some gas escapes your lower intestine?  Wish you could at least mask the dangerous odor so nobody knew it was you?  Well now you can!

Get the product secretly used by auto mechanics for years!

That’s right!  Now you can get the industrial grade product that has been keeping old dump trucks and wreckers smelling spiffy!  And it’s yours for way less money and in much greater quantities than you think!  It’s easy to use, simple to have around your body and so fresh you’ll think you’re living in a pine forest!

Smell better and feel better about those uncontrollable farts!

That’s right; now you can have the same product used throughout American industry to hide nasty odors, and have it delivered to your home within a week or so, give or take.  For only $25.95 we’ll mail you a long-lasting Royal Pine Tree Air Freshener Necklace!

Get up and knock down that odor today!

How can we provide such a wonderful product for only $25.95?  It may seem complicated but it’s really pretty simple.  We’ve taken cheap Chinese made pine tree air fresheners and stuffed them into small lockets that you can wear as a necklace.  It’s the same air freshener used by mechanics for years — because it works!

Order your Royal Pine Tree Air Freshener Necklace today by sending $25.95 in cash, along with your address to:

Ronco Media Mechanic Shop
Attn: Pine Fresh Guy
Box 1234567
New York, New York 54321

Fine print:  There’s a chance that our product might not stop people from passing out when you fart, and there’s a chance it contains asbestos, lead and other stuff, but I wouldn’t worry.  As always, Ronco Media and its affiliated companies and scoundrels aren’t responsible for anything.

© 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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