Weekend Ad Copy (WAC) by: Ronco Media AK-47 Promo Dept.
Inebriated Press \ Tabloid Division
February 23, 2008
Tired of not having enough cash at the end of the month to pay your bills? Sick of watching the news from the Middle East and across town because it doesn’t benefit you? Want to get in on the action and make some bucks doing it? We’re here to help!
Get in on the biggest money making opportunity of the new century!
That’s right! Now you can start arms trafficking for yourself and help load up everyone from Middle Eastern thugs to those crazy gangs on the other side of town! The market has never been bigger or the opportunities greater! Provide a wanted service and make easy money doing it!
Merchandize proven technology for cash and big profit margins!
That’s right; now you can provide a high-demand product that’s been proven to work effectively in all kinds of conditions. These AK-47’s almost sell themselves! Their performance is legendary! And our exclusive Chinese supplier has lots of them on hand and is in the market to sell!
Get in on the hottest market of the new century and get paid cash for every sale!
How can we provide such a wonderful opportunity with such huge margins? It seems kind of complicated, but it’s really pretty simple. We’ve made arrangements with our Chinese AK-47 supplier to assist us with our renowned smuggling operations so we can get weapons delivered quickly and easily anyplace in the world. We offer you franchise rights to our Internet system where you place your orders and manage cash transfer payments. We keep just a small percentage of each transaction. The rest is yours! The high-tech communication system combined with old Russian technology built by the Chinese almost guarantees you mammoth profit margins! It’s just that easy!
Sign up for your new AK-47 Franchise by sending the electronic transfer information for your bank accounts, along with your name, address and a current blood sample to:
Ronco Media AK-47 Promo Dept.
Attn: Lock & Load (the two Russio/Chino guys in the basement)
New York, New York 54321
Fine print: There’s a chance that your dealings with arms buyers could go awry and you may be injured during an occasional transaction, but I wouldn’t worry about it. Occasionally large amounts of upfront cash are required to conduct a purchase, and once in a while it goes missing. As always, Ronco Media and its affiliated companies and scoundrels aren’t responsible for anything.
© 2008 InebriatedPress.com