Neverland Ranch and Democrat Fantasy

Michael Jackson’s Neverland to be Auctioned;
Like the Democrat Debates, It was Never about Reality

Inebriated Press
February 28, 2008

The New York Times reported yesterday that Michael Jackson’s Neverland ranch has been foreclosed on and is up for auction.  And like the recent debates between Democrat presidential candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, it was never about reality, just fantasy and imagination run wild.  Still some folks think Jackson is as grounded in the real world as any left leaning presidential candidate.

“You can’t criticize a guy who became famous and then did screwy stuff with his life and pretends he’s a grown up, just because hides who he is behind costumes and an imaginary world view,” said someone claiming to be the source of this story.  “That’s the same thing that Obama and Clinton are doing, and they’re about to take control of the most powerful nation in the world, during the most turbulent terrorist-oriented moment in our country’s history.  This is the new reality and just because some people trapped by common sense are scared shitless about it, it doesn’t cease to be true.”

Not everyone agrees with the characterization that Obama and Hillary aren’t prepared to rule in the real world.  “Both Hillary and Obama, and to some extent Michael Jackson, are ready to run the U.S. government and generate change, just like they say they will,” said Tommy Freebase, a guy who believes in alternate realities and enjoys living in several of them simultaneously.  “This presidential campaign is about change and newness and not about anything else.  We’ll be sure to get some real change and see some serious new shit that we couldn’t have imagined if we elect one of the leading Democrat candidates as president.  Sure they don’t have experience with governing, and say that they’ll ignore U.S. Intelligence reports because they got us defending ourselves instead of just waiting to see what happened after 9-11.  But that’s the beauty of it.  With Hil or Obe in office, we can be darn sure we’ll get something different and that’s what’s important.”

UPI reported that Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch is to be auctioned off next month at the Santa Barbara County courthouse, if the pop star doesn’t pay $24.5 million he owes.  The 2,800-acre property in Los Olivos, California, was once Jackson’s home and boasted a private zoo and amusement park.  And in their final debate before critical primaries in Ohio and Texas, Senators Barack Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton clashed over who has the most expensive national health-care plan, whose opinion is most popular about Iraq and who would increase taxes fastest as president.  The two agree on everything policy and spending related, except each thinks the other isn’t as smart and that they can do better.  Both are left of Ted Kennedy so it boils down to which one is the most popular or least liked.  Basically the same thing that Jackson says is his challenge nowadays.

“People don’t all like me so I’m going broke and can’t pay my bills and it’s the Republicans fault because of the mortgage and terrorist problems,” said Jackson, from an underground party of semi-protozoa who struggle to remember what they looked like before multiple surgical modifications.  “I’m a believer in change for change sake just like Hillary and Barack and change has sure done me good.  If we can get the Republican stick-in-the-muds out of office, I’ll look a lot better and so will the power structure of the Democrat National Party (DNC).  With Hillary and Obama at the top, and Nancy Pelosi running the House and Harry Reid the Senate, DNC chair Howard Dean will be ‘yeehawing’ it all the way to the office every morning.  I’m sure there’ll be a new social program in there to bail out celebrities who have blown their millions.  At least there’d better be.”

In other news, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announced Tuesday that the rocket they launched recently was in development for only nine months and was of their own design.  He said that they only got a little help from North Korea and Russia.  No word on whether he still sees a nuclear future without the existence of U.S. and Israel, but Barack says there’s nothing to worry about.  “The world I see is one of peace and love,” said Obama, channeling Janis Joplin on one of days she was conscious.  “Pass me another one of those brownies and let’s see what else the future looks like.”

(C) 2008

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