The Control of Sex and Data

Google to Own Extension Cord between U.S. and Asia
Brits to Require Sex-Ed for 5-year Olds

Inebriated Press
February 29, 2008

Information Week reports that a consortium that includes Google is planning a new trans-Pacific submarine cable to carry data to and from Asia.  On Tuesday, Google said it would join with five other telecom companies — Bharti Airtel, Global Transit, KDDI, Pacnet, and SingTel — to invest $300 million in the construction of a 10,000 km submarine cable.  And UK’s Daily Mail reports that children as young as five-years old could be given compulsory sex education.  Children’s Minister Beverley Hughes said delivery of Sex and Relationship Education across England will help tackle youth pregnancy.  Questions over the power and control of data continues.

“I can’t imagine there is a lot of pregnancy problems with 5-year old children in Britain, since no child is ovulating at that age,” said Quality Control, an Iranian woman in a purple bustier, recently outed as liking freedom of expression and quickly placed on the ‘shoot on sight list’ by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.  “I understand governments that want to control information and how it’s shared with their citizens, but forcing kids to learn about sex before they can recite the alphabet is just a little ridiculous.  I like the idea of freedom, but without common sense it makes it easy for Islamofascists to sell some Muslims the idea that we need to blow-up people in the West.”

Not everyone thinks that transferring data indiscriminately to anyone is a bad thing.  “Google needs a bigger trunk line to transfer data between the U.S. and Asia because China is just starting to get into porn and we need a bigger data pipe,” said Google chief Sergey Brin, spinning a large globe with the countries Google’s market value is bigger than colored in blue.  “Data exchange of all kinds will continue to ramp up and as five year old kids get trained about sex and develop an appetite for porn, we’ll need huge fiber cables run between all the continents just to feed the high band-width needs of sex videos for children.  Add the need for data exchange involving news and information and you’ve got a lot of bandwidth demand.”

Daily Mail reported that British children as young as five could be required to receive sex education as part of a newly unveiled review of Sex and Relationship Education (SRE) in primary and secondary schools.  Panel members in the review include representatives from the Family Planning Association, Brook Advisory Centres, HIV charity the Terrence Higgins Trust and the Sex Education Forum.  Critics say it’ll expose sex to children too young to comprehend it, and do more harm than good.  They say the government is under pressure from the sex education establishment to introduce compulsory sex education for all children from the age of five and older.

Google will join with five other companies to invest in a 10,000 km trans-Pacific submarine cable to carry data to and from Asia.  When construction of “Unity” is complete in 2010, Google projects a 20% increase in the amount of available trans-Pacific bandwidth.  NEC and Tyco Telecommunications will be handling the construction.  What Google gets is bandwidth at cost, says Stephan Beckert, director of research for TeleGeography.  Google, along with Comcast, is one of the few companies that have opted to purchase and light long-haul dark fiber, he said.  It is the first non-telecom company to take an active role in submarine cable ownership.  Experts say Google has become a huge user of bandwidth since their purchase of YouTube and as more video moves to the web, bandwidth demand will continue to skyrocket.

“I can hardly imagine the bandwidth needs of the future once the demand for porn includes elementary and middle school students in addition to high school and college,” said Juggs Malone, a professional sex worker who often lobbies to include government funding of unbridled hedonism in all bills introduced to U.S. Congress.  “Morals and ethics are all illusory concepts forced on us by sexless bureaucrats in order to control desire and drive people like cattle into occupations that can generate taxable revenue.  They are misanthropes lacking carnal understanding and can’t grasp the exhilaration and freedom generated by taking off ones underwear in a public place and throwing it into a crowd.  Britney Spears understands.  She is my idol.”

In related news, Pakistan blocked access to YouTube inside its borders because it hosted a “blasphemous” video clip.  The Peshawar office of the Pakistan Telecommunication Authority (PTA), issued the blocking order.  Access to YouTube was restored in Pakistan by Tuesday after the video clip was removed.  Reports said the content included Danish cartoons depicting the Prophet Muhammad.  Debate continues over why cartoons are bad but blowing up innocent people shopping in a marketplace is good.

(C) 2008

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