Daily Archives: March 22, 2008

WAC: Trade Carbon Credits for Fun and Profit

Weekend Ad Copy (WAC) by: Ronco Media Imaginary Stuff to Sell Group
Inebriated Press
March 22, 2008

Want to make money selling imaginary things that exist only by the force of law?  Want a built-in group of customers because lawmakers and environmentalists have forced them into a new market?  Then carbon credit selling is for you!

Sell imaginary stuff out of thin air for real money!

That’s right, once everyone buys the idea that they can freely pollute if they buy carbon credits created by people who generate them by having forests and lawns that absorb carbon and get credit for it, the market will be huge!  It’s already growing as company’s that want to be known as “green” are buying credits so that they can use these “good deeds” in their advertising.  This is where you can cash in big!

Forget buying and selling real stuff when you can sell imaginary things like air from grass!

How can we offer such a weird idea and really make money for you and us?  It may seem extremely stupid, but governments are like that.  Rather than enforcing rules about pollution, they’ve found a way for polluters to keep polluting by just making them buy “credit” from third world countries and others with nothing but wasteland that doesn’t pollute.  It’s a clever way to transfer wealth from the big guys to the little ones while making great money for traders!  And although the consumers ultimately pay for it, because of more expensive products, who cares about them?!  As long as we get our piece of the action everything is great!  Sign up now and get up to $5.00 per ton of C02 and help the poor polluting bastards feel better about themselves!  We’ll rush you the tools so you can start your own business for only $250.00.  You’ll be hard pressed to find a cheaper way to sell the atmosphere to needy polluters!  Send your name, address and cash or American Express paper to:

Ronco Media Imaginary Stuff to Sell Group
Attn: Full of Hot Air and Like It
Box 1234567
New York, New York 54321

Fine print: It’s possible that some people will wake up and discover this entire idea is a bunch of hooey, but so far so good.  Some other risks may apply that we may not have even imagined.  As always, Ronco Media and our crafty associates aren’t responsible for anything.  Sign up quick, good air is selling fast!

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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Filed under Humor, IP Tabloid, IP WAC