Power and Domination, Androids and Russians

Google’s Android Conquers AT&T
NATO likes U.S., bows to Russia

Inebriated Press
April 4, 2008

AT&T says it’s now interested in using Google’s mobile-phone software called “Android,” despite earlier skepticism.  And yesterday NATO backed the US plan to install a defense shield in Poland and the Czech Republic despite opposition from Russia, but bowed to Russian pressure and said no membership is available to former Soviet republics Ukraine and Georgia at this time.  Debate over the power trends of Android and Russia continues.

“Russia has always been a bully and now that its world influence is marginal, the old KGB leadership at its helm likes to cause trouble so it stays relevant,” said Sissy Spacek, a world affairs expert who’s occasionally mistaken for a slender actress with a modest but nice movie portfolio.  “NATO ignored their threats about helping Poland and the Czech’s but decided to back away on facing them over the Ukraine and Georgia, where Russian meddling is highest.  Still, AT&T caving in to Google shows that some global power players still have it going full blast.”

Not everyone thinks that AT&T’s caving to Google is comparable to efforts of former KGB agents in Russia trying to recreate the old Soviet empire.  “Google’s Android service will allow AT&T cell phones to download Web pages more quickly and that’s a customer service thing and not a world domination thing like the old Soviet power to coerce.  We actually want this,” said AT&T spokesperson Joe Stalin, an old AT&T executive who remembers the heady days before the federal government broke up the telephone monopoly and he had to fall back on his good name to intimidate people.  “Google is a fair company and once all the worlds’ data and information resides in their server farms they’ll help us understand it better.  They’re good guys and control of the world’s knowledge and information in the hands of one company is nothing to worry about.”

USA Today reported that the NATO alliance backed US President Bush’s plan to install a missile defense shield in Poland and the Czech Republic despite opposition from Russia, which does not belong to NATO.  Former Soviet republics Ukraine and Georgia, which sought preliminary “membership action plans,” were put off until next year.  The flurry of activity by NATO, which acts only on consensus, came as attention was beginning to turn to this weekend’s meeting between Bush and Russian President Vladimir Putin across the Black Sea in Sochi, Russia.  Putin opposed NATO advancement for Ukraine and Georgia.

The Mercury News reported that AT&T is now “very interested” in using mobile-phone software known as “Android” developed by Google and its partners, overcoming its initial skepticism about the project.  By adopting Android, AT&T says they can offer phones that download Web pages more quickly than current models and let subscribers customize their handsets.  Google wants consumers to use the Internet more on their mobile phones, helping to boost the ad revenue it collects from Web queries.  Folks at WebProNews report that Google may control 90% of the global search engine market in a year.  The struggle for money and power continues.

“I want more power over Playboy and Hustler magazines and passing laws to tax them will help me get that,” said South Carolina Senator Mike Fair, a lawmaker whose name doesn’t always indicate how he votes.  “By putting a 20% tax rate on those magazines we can raise money for the state budget.  What did you say?  What do I think about Russian plans to rebuild the old Soviet empire and about Google’s plan to control the world’s knowledge and information?  What do I care, I have a state budget to worry about and if I hose the porn mag’s I can fix it.  That international stuff is too confusing.  Somebody else will figure that out, and if they don’t I can always call Hillary or Barack at 3 in the morning and see what they think.  At least that’s what it says in the advertisements.”

In other news, the L.A. Chronicle reported yesterday that because we’re sealing our homes tighter to conserve energy that our houses are trapping a growing population of dust mites.  The paper offered suggestions about how to control them by using acaricides on carpet and furniture.  No word on who’ll have to be taxed to fund the mite problem resulting from our conservation efforts or whether the mites are bent on global domination, or just our homes.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

Comments Off on Power and Domination, Androids and Russians

Filed under Humor, IP News

Comments are closed.