Porn Pastor Does Exxxotica

Second Career or Mission Impossible

Inebriated Press
April 23, 2008

The Miami Herald reported that Craig Gross, referred to as the Porn Pastor, was busy passing out bits of the New Testament with the title “Jesus loves porn stars,” at this past weekends Exxxotica in Miami Beach, the largest adult-entertainment event on the East Coast. And CBS News reported that at the age of 42, Paul Arnoult has just started a second career as a Catholic priest. The question “can a leopard change its spots” hangs over careers and the concept of personal morality.

“Once you’re a pharmaceutical rep you’ll never be a priest and once you’re a sinner you’ll never be a saint, that’s just the way it is and there’s no point in trying to pretend otherwise,” said Hardly Matters, a left wing intellectual who clings to traditional radical thought and refuses to vote for anyone but Ralph Nader. “I am who I am, and you are who you are, and we should not be willing to accept anything that makes us think outside our paradigm. As a progressive, my thoughts are as rigid as the next persons and that’s how it should be. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Consistency is best.”

Not everyone thinks that change is implausible for hearts, minds or jobs. “I jailed and killed Christians because it was the thing to do, but one day I saw the light,” said Saul of Tarsus, a Middle Eastern guy who once tortured people who followed Jesus, but then became one of his biggest defenders and died promoting him. “I was a tent maker turned evangelist, a killer become a defender of those I used to hunt. It was an occupational change to be sure. It all started in my heart. I accepted Jesus and became somebody else. It does happen.”

The Miami Herald said it was business as usual at the porn convention. A loudest-orgasm competition blared over the loudspeakers; a cowgirl engaged in a fierce battle with a mechanical bull; a paunchy man craned his neck to catch the exposed backside of a scantily clad star. And then there was Craig Gross, a 32-year-old former youth pastor in Southern California who had set up a booth for his XXXChurch handing out booklets called “Jesus loves porn stars.” There was no preaching or judging, only smiles and friendly conversation. Gross, who is known to some as the Porn Pastor, is as unconventional in appearance as his methods: Piercing green eyes, jutting cheekbones, day-old stubble and straight dark hair that cascades over his forehead. He wears tattered jeans and a T-shirt, has black studs on both his ears and sports a heart-shaped tattoo on his right forearm. Gross knows that handing out some Bible passages is unlikely to change anything on a large scale, but he hopes to pique people’s curiosity. His site, http://www.xxxchurch.com, already gets 500,000 visitors a month.

CBS News reported that Paul Arnoult is on his second career. He was 42 years old when he became a priest after working 12 years in the pharmaceutical industry. Helping in a crisis was part of what brought Paul Arnoult to the priesthood. “God opened doors and it worked out,” Arnoult said. The church was in need and he had reached a time in life when he was ready to serve. Some say it would take a miracle to get them to change jobs or lifestyle.

“I’m in a rut so deep that I can’t climb out no matter what anyone says or does, and there’s nobody in heaven or on earth who can change that … well, if there’s a god then maybe she could, but that’s about it,” said Stacy Takithard, a fading stripper battling health issues, high gas prices and the current bad economy. “I’m not the first person who’s felt helpless in the face of impending retirement or STD’s. That’s just the way it goes. Except for Heather. She went to this Christian shelter, got off drugs, married some guy and has a family now. I’m not sure what that’s all about.”

In related news, Mary Magdalene, a hooker who met Jesus as she was about to be stoned by local authorities for screwing some guy she wasn’t married to, admits that the one called Christ changed her life. “When he said to the assholes with the rocks, ‘let him who has no sin cast the first stone’ and the guys backed off and left me, I’d have banged him anyway he wanted it. But that’s not what he was about. He had this real love and peace thing going and it wasn’t about sex. I haven’t seen life the same way since.” No word on whether her story is in the book “Jesus loves porn stars,” but it probably is.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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