Obama: Leave Terrorists, Gangsters and Unions Alone

Presidential candidate battles old stereotypes

Inebriated Press \ Division of Rant
May 6, 2008

The Wall Street Journal reported yesterday that presidential candidate and Senator Barack Obama won the Teamsters Union endorsement by telling them that he supported ending federal oversight on unions designed to root out corruption. In past years presidents simply left it to the U.S. Justice Department to monitor mob influence and take action as necessary. But Barack Obama continues to press his mantra of “change” and by golly letting corruption into the union will be a change. Some people say that it’s about time the U.S. goes back to old-brand Chicago-style politics and that Obama can not only take us there, he has also upgraded it to fit today’s world.

“Americans can no longer continue on the path of cracking down on union corruption, harassing fine citizens like my buddy Tony Rezko for corruption, opposing alternative points of view like those of my pal Bill Ayers and his Weather Underground, and battling freedom fighters like Osama Bin Laden and his club Al Qaeda,” said the typically candid and understated Barack Obama, refusing a flag lapel pin from a Boy Scout and slapping him for belonging to a group that’s not inclusive enough. “To pull this country together we need to embrace radical clerics and preachers of all kinds, whether they’re people like my 20 year spiritual advisor Reverend Jeremiah Wright, or Minister Louis Farrakhan a good guy who I hung out with at his Million Man March, and any of a host of Muslim radicals and others who bring important anti-American views to the forefront, and help promote the need for change in America. The old Clinton White House had plenty of corruption, but they won’t hold a candle to what I’ve got planned. It’s old-school politics for a new age baby.”

Some people are really looking forward to the country being run by the Obama-Change-Team. “There’s been ah-way too much cracking-down on-ah corruption, illegal aliens, terrorists and other good respectable family businesses in this ah-country and we need ah-change,” said Father Guido Sarducci, lighting his fifth cigarette in five minutes and polishing his tinted glasses with hair from the back of his hand. “We jus’ ah-gotta relax and-ah chill-out. We’re ah-getting way too worked up ah-bout old organized crime and letting the new guys from Columbia have too much business. It’s ah-getting out of hand. Barack’ah he’s ah-right. It’s ah-time for hah-change.”

The Wall Street Journal reported that Sen. Barack Obama won the endorsement of the Teamsters earlier this year after privately telling the union he supported ending the strict federal oversight imposed to root out corruption, according to officials from the union and the Obama campaign. The Journal said it’s an unusual stance for a presidential candidate and went on to say that policy makers have largely treated monitoring of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters as a legal matter left to the Justice Department, ever since an independent review board was set up in 1992 to eliminate mob influence in the union. Neither Sen. Obama nor Teamsters President James P. Hoffa has spoken publicly about easing up federal oversight, a top priority for Mr. Hoffa since he became union president in 1999. But John Coli, vice president for the Teamsters central region, who brokered the Teamsters endorsement, said Sen. Obama was “pretty definitive that the time had come to start the beginning of the end” of the three-member independent review board that investigates suspect activity in the union. John Cronin, who has been the administrator for the Justice Department review board since it was created, said it would be extraordinary for a president to try to alter the oversight.

Tony Rezko, a long time friend of Barack Obama and a deal-maker who helped him purchase his home, has been charged with angling kickbacks from state contractors looking for deals with the state of Illinois. He raised campaign funds for Sen. Obama. A photo of Rezko and Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-.N.Y., also a presidential candidate, and her husband former President Bill Clinton has recently surfaced. Clinton says she doesn’t know Rezko. Last Friday United Press International reported that Aiham Alsammarae, Iraq’s former electricity minister-turned-fugitive, who was accused of corruption and escaped from jail in Iraq in 2006, helped pay for part of Tony Rezko’s bail using $1.9 million in equity from a home in Oak Brook and $840,000 from two condominiums in Chicago’s South Loop. Alsammarae lived in Chicago until 2003 when he returned to Iraq. No word on whether he has a direct connection to Obama.

Bill Ayers a Weather Underground member and friend of Obama’s planted bombs in the Pentagon in the 1960’s. He avoided prison on a technicality. He recently told the press that he didn’t regret what he did and wished he would have done more. National Review Online reported yesterday that a photo of Ayers taken in 2001 shows Ayers stomping on an American flag. 2001 was the same year Obama served with Ayers on the board of the Woods Fund and the year Obama accepted a campaign contribution from him. But many people see this and other issues as minor blemishes on Obama’s character, and appreciate his openness to alternative ideas that the majority of Americans find too uncomfortable to embrace.

“I was reading Barack’s new book, “The Arrogance of Independence” the other day, its the sequel to “The Audacity of Hope,” and it convinced me that American’s must abandon the last two-hundred and thirty years of faith in independence, personal responsibility and freedom through strength and self reliance,” said Willy Fremee, a hard working guy who has a difficult time making ends meet and has decided that socialist style income redistribution and national healthcare is worth a return to gangland days and a few more 9-11’s. “Barack is well suited to take care of things. Someone who hangs out with gangsters and local-grown terrorists can certainly talk directly with international terrorists and get along fine as long as he gives them the influence they’re looking for. Besides, anyone who can get this close to presidential power after being a one-term U.S. Senator has got to have powerful connections and that’s what it takes to make change. Hard to tell what giving billions of U.S. tax dollars to the United Nations to distribute will do, but Barack’s got lots of plans for doing stuff with American’s money while cutting back on the military and ending efforts to stop union corruption. When that guy talks change, he damn well means what he’s saying.”

In related news, Obama’s wife Michelle who commented in Milwaukee, Wisconsin after polls showed that Barack was leading in the race for the U.S. presidency, that “for the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country because it feels like hope is finally making a comeback,” has began touring TV talk shows in order to shore up support. Support for Obama began to slip after he said rural American voters are so depressed about the country that they are left clinging to guns and god for hope. No word on why Obama thinks they’ll perk up if the government increases taxes to cover his massive income redistribution plan, and stops fighting terrorism and corruption.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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