Cyber Sex or Real Stripper Mom’s

Epic Porn Consumption and Quest for Maternal Truth

Inebriated Press
May 7, 2008

The UK Metro newspaper reported last Friday that a Japanese government employee was demoted for viewing porn websites at work on 780,000 occasions over a 9-month period.  And the Washington Post reported Sunday that mothers are pondering how much to tell their children about their past, including whether they should be told that they used to be strippers.  The right of children and governments to know about a person’s sexual interests and activities is under debate.

“As a free person in a free society, the government should support our rights to read and view whatever we want and to strip or sell our bodies during our off-hours without them demoting us or getting in our way,” said Julie-Ann Cleavage, a busty glitter wearing lawyer widely recognized for negotiating back room settlements of all kinds.  “As far as what to tell the kids, that’s a personal choice.  Tell them whatever you want or don’t.  If it’s not to their benefit to know, then don’t tell them.  They’re a person in their own right and you raise them the best you can.  You feed their brain like their body.  Give them what you think is best for them and strip or screw who you want when you want.  Kids are kids, let them be.”

Some people think that it’s important to share all knowledge and information so that others can make more informed decisions.  “All governments and children should have every bit of information about you that you can possibly give them and in that way they draw their own conclusions,” said Thurston Emptee, a guy who thinks privacy rights are a thing of the past and wants to know everything about everyone and preferably in the next fifteen minutes.  “If that means an employer demotes you or the government puts you on a watch list, or that your 15 year old daughter starts hooking to get cash for clothes, makeup or vibrators, that’s fine.  We need more transparency in both government and personal lives.  All this privacy and right to ones own information just gets in the way of efficiency.  The government will find you out eventually and your daughter will probably be hooking anyway.  More openness just speeds up the process.”

The UK Metro said a Japanese civil servant, an employee of the Kinokawa government in western Japan, visited porn sites 780,000 times from June last year to February 2008.  The man’s superiors discovered his extensive porn site visits after his computer became infected with a virus, prompting officials to examine his web browser’s history.  The man accessed porn sites 170,000 times in July alone.  The man was demoted and received a 20,000 yen (£96) monthly pay cut.  Visiting 780,000 porn sites over a nine month period means he averaged over 4,000 per day.  Despite his frequent porn viewing, none of his colleagues noticed his activities.  I guess that means his work didn’t suffer.

A Washington Post cover story said that American women are pondering how much to tell their children about the transgressions they’d committed in their teens and 20s.  One mom talked about stripping in New Orleans and said she doubted that she’d share that information with her kids.  Another spoke of dealing drugs in ninth grade.  Other past experiences discussed included baking marijuana into brownies, lying in mud naked at Woodstock, having sex in Middle School and smoking pot.  So, what do you tell the kids?  Remarkably few — if any — researchers have explored this topic.

The Post story said research shows that it’s important for parents to establish clear household values.  If you don’t want your kid to have unprotected sex, or you don’t want them having sex when very young, or doing drugs, it’s very important to show very strong disapproval of that.  But you risk sending a mixed message if you broke any of those rules and then ask your child not to break them.  Experts say be prepared to face this quandary.  Some parents have decided to say nothing.  Others have decided to share some information but couch it in terms of what they learned to avoid, and mistakes they made that they want their kids to learn from.  Some just flat out lie saying it’s better to control the information and avoid the risk that the kids will use the knowledge as license to justify their own behavior.  And some parents have no regret for what they did and would do it again, but adjust the “truth” to suit the situation when talking with their kids and others.    

“What kids and employers don’t know about a persons past won’t hurt them, in fact knowing more may hurt more so there’s no point going there,” said former president Bill Clinton, a survivor of Oval Office oral sex scandals, public infidelity, lying to a grand jury and a lot of other things he was able to keep quiet.  “Life can be messy enough with the information that gets out there; you sure as hell don’t need to volunteer anything extra.  Why create an unnecessary burden for yourself?  Now shake your tits and ass for me honey, I was leader of the free world.”

In related news, the Palm Beach Post reported that Tiffany Shepherd, a biology teacher at Port St. Lucie High School, learned recently that she will not be asked to return when school starts next year, nor will she finish this school year.  Shepherd doesn’t think it’s her teaching skills that the School District found objectionable but, rather, her after-school job as a bikini mate aboard Smokin’ Em Charters fishing tours.  Shepherd, a 30-year-old buxom blonde from Fort Pierce with an undergraduate degree in pre-med, performs the usual duties of a mate, but wears a bikini and fetches drinks and sandwiches for the men on board.  The charter company’s Web site has pictures of some of the bikini mates, many of them partially nude, and says the only job requirement is to look “hot in a bikini.”  No word on whether the website received any of the 780,000 hits from the Japanese government employee.

(C) 2008

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