Men Losing Interest in Sex

Chile gives senior citizens free Viagra
Ecuador may mandate orgasms for women

Inebriated Press
May 8, 2008

The UK Metro newspaper reported Tuesday that a growing number of men are no longer interested in sex.  They say they can have sex, but don’t find it “rewarding”.  Meanwhile BBC News reports that the country of Ecuador is considering a constitutional amendment to guarantee women’s sexual happiness, and city Mayors in Chile are handing out Viagra for free to senior citizens.  Sky News reported earlier this year that a quarter of married couples in Japan have not had sex in the past year.  Some say men are as horny as ever, but there seems to be growing evidence that it isn’t true.  Debate over how to force men to have sex and do it well heats up.

“I’m sick of trying to be everything for everybody, fulfill their fantasies and do what I’m told.  Nobody seems to give a shit about what I’d like to have,” said John Thomas, a hard working professional guy who stays in shape but gave up dating for a Panasonic HD-TV and DirecTV’s sports package.  “Women want me strong and masculine on queue, then soft and compassionate, do my job, take care of the car and other ‘machinery’ around the house, help clean up, get groceries, do laundry and perform sexually like a porn star unless her mood  happens to require modesty and thoughtful caressing and reflection.  I can do all of it, but damn, not on queue or at the drop of a hat.  Now some countries are mandating that guys have to guarantee a female orgasm or risk a constitutional violation and imprisonment?  Screw it, I’m watching sports and getting a dog.”

Not everyone thinks Thomas has a case.  “Women have gotten the dirty end of the lollypop for way too many years and it’s high time they get what they’ve been missing,” said Sally Ann Macbeth, a wiry gal who works hard, lifts weights in her spare time and thinks men should be able to be jocks, metrosexuals and regular guys simultaneously.  “We’re supposed to be moms, girlfriends, hookers, strippers, chefs and cleaning women, all at the same time.  Well the time has come for the guys to start putting out when and where we want.  If they’re bailing on us we’ll just make some laws and force them back into service.  We’ve become the majority population you know.  Now we get ours.”

UK’s Metro newspaper reported that a growing number of middle-aged men are going off sex, according to relationship experts.  Sex therapy and counseling charity Relate says it has seen a 40 per cent increase in men seeking help because they have lost interest in making love to their wives and partners.  Relate’s Peter Bell said, “What we have is a lot of men who say, as women did in the 1950s: ‘I can have sex but I do not want to.  It’s not rewarding’.  It is a serious issue.  It counts as a pychosexual dysfunction rather than just a relationship problem, because these men haven’t simply gone off their partner but off sex altogether.”  The main sufferers tend to be married and aged between 30 to 50.  The article said there were also high rates of depression in men in this age group, and that long working hours and stress may also contribute to the trend.    

Sky News reported that Japan is having a birth rate crisis – because the nation has gone off sex.  A quarter of married couples in Japan have not made love in the past year, according to the World Health Organisation.  The country’s birth rate is already among the lowest in the world and is falling even further.  Sex is particularly elusive as people grow older, with the study finding that 37.3% of Japanese married couples in their 50s never have sex at all.  Surveys suggest Japan is among the world’s least sexually active nations.    
BBC News reported that Maria Soledad Vela, who is helping to rewrite the constitution of Ecuador, has proposed that a woman’s right to enjoy sexual happiness should be enshrined in the country’s law.  Opposition assembly member, Leonardo Viteri, accused her of trying to decree orgasm by law and called the idea ‘ridiculous’.  Vela said it’s time women get the right to enjoy sex in a free, fair and more open society.

In Chile, Lo Prado Mayor Gonzalo Navarrete launched a “quality of life” program on Wednesday, by handing out free Viagra to senior citizens, the UK Metro reported.  About 1,500 residents of the working-class area are eligible to receive as many as four pills of the erectile dysfunction drug each month, the mayor said.  The Mayor said he launched the program because ‘an active sexuality improves the overall quality of life.’  He said he has assured about US$10,000 (¤6,400) in financing for the program through the end of the year.  Some government insurance plans in the United States and elsewhere provide Viagra, but Lo Prado hands the 50mg pills out free, with no membership in any public or private insurance plan required.  Some experts think the South Americans have it figured out.

“Some guys feel burned out over work and relationships and been dropping out of the scene and that’s not right.  By handing out free Viagra and other stimulants, plus making constitutional law requiring men to have sex with women and guarantee that the women have an orgasm, we can get them back in the business one way or another,” said Margo Bangg-Freely, an attorney with the U.S. Department of Justice and an advocate of good sex through law and chemistry.  “I’m a professional woman who works hard, has good health and a good career and will start a family within the next five years.  Between now and then, I’m expecting to have a lot of good orgasms and if it takes forcing men to ingest chemicals and a law to make them perform, then I’m all for it.  I’ve got plans and some of them include a good time.  It’s my right and the guys better get with it.”

In other news, The New York Times reported yesterday that women who stop smoking can enjoy major health benefits within five years, but it can take decades to correct respiratory damage and shed the added risk of lung cancer.  Those who stopped had a 13 percent reduction in the risk of death from all causes, including heart and vascular problems, within the first five years, a study found.  No word on whether the decrease in smoking resulted in an increase in orgasms.

(C) 2008

Comments Off on Men Losing Interest in Sex

Filed under Humor, IP News

Comments are closed.