Hot Babes and Frigid Climates

Buying prostitutes and selling global warming

Inebriated Press
May 19, 2008

The Chicago Tribune reported earlier this month on a study of why men go to prostitutes and the UK Telegraph reported that the media is only reporting stories that support the theory of global warming. Hot and cold sex and weather continues to be debated and finds people of both sexes on both sides of the issues.

“I go to prostitutes when I want sex without a cumbersome relationship and I believe in global warming because the ice age is still over,” said Zesty Snokone, a natty dresser who likes sex and warm weather, frequently at the same time. “I don’t pay hookers for conversation and I don’t buy the global warming doomsday bullshit. Of course it’s warmer; the ice sheet that once covered the entire earth is only left on the poles now. Shit people use your heads.”

Not everyone sees things as plainly as Snokone does. “Humankind has abused both mother earth and women in general and treated them both like dirt or whores, to be used and then tossed aside and it’s morally wrong and our society is worse off because of it,” said Sunny Bright, a slender red head who refuses to be bought or sold and thinks women who do demean themselves. “We are devaluing the planet and humankind by our lack of care and protection for the earth and women. We should ban anything that warms the earth or results in a woman being paid for anything that she does. It’s time to back the clock up to prehistoric days when nothing was for sale and nature dominated man. Those were the salad days and we must aspire to return to them.”

The UK Telegraph reported that the proponents of man-made global warming have become so rattled by how the forecasts of their computer models are being contradicted by the data that some are rushing to modify the thesis. A German study, published by Nature earlier this month, claimed that, while the world is definitely warming, it may cool down until 2015 “while natural variations in climate cancel out the increases caused by man-made greenhouse gas emissions”. On April 24 the World Wildlife Fund (WWF), another body keen to keep the warmist flag flying, published a study warning that Arctic sea ice was melting so fast that it may soon reach a “tipping point” where “irreversible change” takes place. This was based on last September’s data, showing ice cover having shrunk over six months from 13 million square kilometres to just 3 million. What the WWF omitted to mention was that by March the ice had recovered to 14 million sq km (see the website Cryosphere Today), and that ice-cover around the Bering Strait and Alaska that month was at its highest level ever recorded.

The Telegraph article said what is striking, in view of the colossal implications of the current response to “the greatest challenge confronting mankind” – as politicians love to call it – is how this hugely important debate is almost entirely overlooked by the media. It won’t do for believers in warmist orthodoxy to claim that, although temperatures may be falling, this is only because they are “masking an underlying warming trend that is still continuing” – nor to fob us off with assurances that the “German model shows that higher temperatures than 1998, the warmest year on record, are likely to return after 2015”. In view of what is now at stake, such quasi-religious incantations masquerading as science are something we can no longer afford. We should get back to proper science before it is too late.

Chicago Tribune reported that as anti-prostitution groups try to thwart sex trade by going after customers, they said they have faced a big problem: researchers have only the crudest grasp of why men buy sex. To get a better understanding, a group of researchers—most of them young women—invited more than 100 Chicago-area men who frequently use prostitutes to talk about their attitudes and experiences. More than 200 men answered the ads the researchers placed in local sex-service classifieds and were willing to sit down with strangers to discuss at length their illegal sexual practices. Most of the men interviewed said they believe there is nothing wrong with prostitution, a large majority, 83 percent, view buying sex as a form of addiction, according to the study. Most men said they believed women entered prostitution freely, but they acknowledge that the sex trade is devastating to the women involved.

The Tribune piece said a large percentage of the men, 57 percent, suspect the women they pay were abused as children, and nearly a third said they viewed women’s relationships with pimps as harmful. Nonetheless, most men said they viewed their interaction with prostitutes as a business contract. “Prostitutes are a product, like cereal,” said one man. “You go to the grocery, pick the brand you want and pay for it. It’s business.” The survey was designed by anti-prostitution activist Melissa Farley, who is controversial because academics have accused her of tilting previous research to support a political agenda. Farley said the goal of the research is to push for harsher criminal punishment for men who buy sex from prostitutes. Some people say weather and sex is part of nature and should be left alone because we can’t change it anyway.

“Some people sell time and brainpower to Microsoft for a living, others sell eight hours of themselves each day to McDonalds. I sell my own ass on my own time, where and when I want to and it’s my right to it, and it’s a profession that’s older than either Microsoft or McDonalds,” said local entrepreneur and bottle rocket lover Hazy Rae-Nightshade, a hooker who does what she wants and says what she thinks. “You play with your ideas and I’ll live in my reality. You dream you can control the environment on this planet by messing with emissions that can at most affect 5 percent of greenhouse gas, and you try and put chastity belts on every woman you find. In the meantime I’ll keep busy living and supplying a service to people who have cash and act the way nature drives them. I do what I do; you do what you do. Just stay out of my way.”

In other news, Australia’s News Unlimited reported that an Adelaide man has been acquitted of assaulting and having unlawful sex with a teenager he met via a vampire website. A South Australian District Court jury took four hours to find Warwick Acott, 39, of Seaton, not guilty of one count of having unlawful sex with a teenager he met on vampirefreaks.com, and two counts of assaulting her. He said she invited him home, where he admitted he whipped and bit her – at the girl’s request. He told the jury he’d broken off contact with the girl twice after finding out she had lied about her age. No word on how much their actions affected the temperature of the earth or whether the court considered anything about what they did as an act of nature.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

Comments Off on Hot Babes and Frigid Climates

Filed under Humor, IP News

Comments are closed.