Obama’s Racketeer Buddy Found Guilty

Old Chicago Politics plus Anti-American Hatred equal Change for a New Age

Inebriated Press
June 6, 2008

New York Times reported yesterday that Tony Rezko, Barack Obama’s buddy and fundraiser, financial advisor and the man who arranged the purchase of Obama’s home and property, was convicted by a federal jury on 16 counts, including fraud, money laundering and bribery. The presidential candidate pulled out his Jeremiah Wright media release and inserted Rezko’s name and read, “This isn’t the Tony Rezko I knew.” For some strange reason Obama, the unknown, inexperienced man who became an overnight sensation as a presidential candidate, has a group of friends and advisors with links to radical groups, secret power players and extortionists. But to question Obama’s integrity is to display prejudice and ethnic hatred. Experts say it’s time to elect the man and not worry about the consequences, because it’s the right thing to do.

“Any man who wants to give hundreds of millions of US tax dollars to the United Nations to distribute as it sees fit, and who plans to sit down with fascists who repeat over and over their plans to destroy Israel and the west, and then negotiate terms of surrender with Bin Laden, is the right guy to run the U.S.A.” said Neville Chamberlin, former prime minister of Britain, the man who single handedly stopped the Nazi push into Poland in World War II when he chatted with Hitler and came away saying Adolph was a man he could trust. “People should not be concerned that President Obama has no governing or leadership experience. Barack has surrounded himself with spiritual and financial advisors who have powerful convictions and will guide all of his decision-making. And Bill Ayers, a Weather Underground member and a friend and neighbor of Barack’s, knows his way around the Pentagon because he placed bombs there in the 1960’s. Ayers would make a good Secretary of Defense because he knows where the bathrooms are. People need to set aside their irrational prejudice of Obama and support him because he’ll do whatever he feels like when he’s elected, and it’ll all be for the best.”

Some individuals aren’t sure that an inexperienced man with advisors who are anti-American or are convicted racketeers, are really what’s best for America. “I admit that voting for McCain, a war hero with years of experience working with both parties in the Senate, and who’s married to a beautiful beer distribution heiress, is awfully distasteful,” said Jon Doe, an insignificant hard working American voter who enjoys watching sports, tending his garden and a good roll in the hay. “But when I see the people that Barack has surrounded himself with — Chicago racketeers, preachers who say America is the same as Al Qaeda and then give awards to the Nation of Islam’s Farrakhan, and has a Pentagon bomber as a pal, it makes me think that maybe deep down, Barack believes what they do. Nobody rises to the top in Chicago politics as fast as he did without powerful political connections and lots of money. It just doesn’t happen. And now after a couple terms in the Illinois Senate and half of one in the U.S. Senate, he’s the man to run the most powerful country in the world? How does that happen? Who is he beholden to and what does he really believe? You are the company you keep. Either Obama is the same as the guys he hangs with or he’s completely ignorant. Either way I can’t vote for the man.”

The New York Times reported that Antoin “Tony” Rezko, a once-powerful fund-raiser who helped propel the career of Senator Barack Obama, was found guilty on Wednesday by a federal jury of 16 counts, including fraud, money laundering and bribery in an influence-peddling scheme that touched the highest levels of the administration of Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich of Illinois. While Mr. Obama’s friendship with Mr. Rezko has been debated on the campaign trail, no evidence surfaced in the courtroom to suggest that Mr. Obama was involved in any wrongdoing. In a statement, Mr. Obama said that he was “saddened” by the verdict. “This isn’t the Tony Rezko I knew,” he said, adding that the charges against Mr. Rezko “once again shine a spotlight on the need for reform.” During the Democratic primary race, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton called attention to Mr. Obama’s relationship with Mr. Rezko in an effort to raise questions about Mr. Obama’s judgment. According to Mr. Obama’s campaign, Mr. Rezko may have raised as much as $250,000 for him over the years. Some pundits say that money and a persons close friends have no influence over them.

“It’s irrational and highly prejudicial to think that anyone who gave me a quarter million dollars and was one of my best friends would have any impact on how I think or what I do,” said Chesty Blonde, a former hooker who was one of few call girls never influenced by money or people she knew. “I never considered my services as though I was selling myself; it was all in my control. I influenced others more than they did me and the money I raised over the years to retire on, was just the side benefit of a good time. I think Obama is kind of like me. When he’s president he’ll just have a good time doing what he wants and playing around with military cuts, having chats with terrorists and other famous people, and reallocate the wealth of the American people. I mean he’s said that’s what he’ll do. Why wouldn’t we believe that? And as far as the American haters he’s surrounded himself with, hey, a guys got to have friends right? Who’re you going to drink beer with otherwise?”

In other news, CNN reported Wednesday that a man and a woman have been charged by police in Italy after they were found having sex in a cathedral confession box. The Italian ANSA news agency said authorities were alerted after a parishioner heard “rustling and groaning” coming from inside the confession box and pulled back the curtains to reveal a goth-rock couple engaged in oral sex. The agency said the pair — a 31-year-old laborer and a 32-year-old teacher — defended their conduct saying: “We are atheists and for us, having sex in church is like doing it any other place.” No word on whether money or their friends influence anything else they do.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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