In Battle of the Sexes, Libido on Vacation

Women Desire Shopping, Men Desire Women Ironing
Must we get away from it all, to rub one another the right way?

Inebriated Press
June 19, 2008

The UK Metro newspaper reported last week that women think more about shopping than sex. And Australia’s Adelaide Now reported Tuesday that an Italian man kidnapped his ex-girlfriend and forced her to iron his clothes. Shopping by the sexually disinterested and ironing for the domestically challenged is dominating day-to-day activity, and sex is only hot when on vacation. Or so said Newsweek magazine on Monday, in an article entitled: “It’s hotter away from home. Yet another good reason to go on vacation: better sex.”

“I’ve got stuff to do, to buy, have to go to work, I try and eat right and exercise when I can; sex is interesting but isn’t the center of my universe,” said Stacy Freidman-Mackerel, manager of a local grocery store and owner of silicon implants that dazzle the minds of those disinterested in other things. “I’m as sexual as the next woman and love my husband and kid, but hey, I’ve got stuff to do. We get together by accident on occasion and try to have a date night once a month. We both usually fall asleep early. But we’re together and building our lives. That’s cool.”

Not everyone sees it the way Friedman-Mackerel does. “It’s absurd to focus on shopping and ironing above major tingles and togetherness,” said Nancy Dozdallas, a part time model, full time escort and occasional weight lifter. “All the other stuff gets done eventually and you’ve got to have quality of life. If you’re not finding time to hook up and share quality time and physical intimacy you’re selling your life short. Why do you think we come with these body parts? So we can buy underwear and iron our shorts? I don’t think so. Heat it up baby. Heat it up and get it on!”

Metro reported that according to a new survey of 778 women – aged 19 to 45 – 74 per cent said they think about shopping every minute. Two out of five described themselves as shoe and bag “addicts”, while more than one in ten obsessed over accessories or make-up. Lack of funds won’t stand in their way either with 62 per cent saying they’d use their credit card while 8 per cent are prepared to use money saved to pay the rent or mortgage. Half of the women surveyed said they preferred shopping to spending time with their partner.

Adelaide Now reported that an Italian man has been arrested for allegedly kidnapping his ex-girlfriend and forcing her to iron his clothes and wash his dishes. The 43-year-old man allegedly dragged the woman out of a pub in the port city of Genoa, shoved her into a car and took her to his home where he made her iron and wash dishes after threatening her, police said. The man, who was apparently furious at his ex-girlfriend for leaving him, was arrested on charges of kidnapping, according to police. Some pundits say that housekeeping and sex can go together with careful planning.

“My husband and I were getting more and more distant from each other until we read the book ‘365 Nights’ which is about Charla and Brad Muller having sex every day for a year,” said Missy Universe-Hotkakes, a slender brunette paralegal with well proportioned body and brains. “I admit we’re not as committed as they were, but we take a vacation from everything else we do at least one evening a week and do whatever we want as long as it’s together and the evening ends in sex. And we put it in our planners for 3-4 evenings each week when possible. We sometimes wear clothes with that lived-in look during the week, but that’s only because they are lived in. I think life is more than ironing and shopping. At least I sure feel that way every Tuesday around 10, and occasionally Monday’s, Wednesdays and Saturdays when scheduling permits.”

In related news, Newsweek Magazine reported that Arlene, a 27-year-old writer who lives in Philadelphia, recently went to Paris for a weeklong vacation with her 30-year-old boyfriend, a chef in the Philly area. “Even though we were running around like crazy seeing all the sights,” Arlene recalls, “we still had sex almost every day,” compared to an average of once or twice a week back home. “And the sex was better; we both seemed more relaxed.” No word on whether their clothes are ironed or not, but only one guy in Italy seems really worked up about it.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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